afraid!afraid!afraid!

I can't stop thinking bout my trip to Korea next week.I am afraid.Afraid of traveling alone.Afraid of the Koreans.Afraid of the University students.
I am afraid because I am fat. And Koreans are extremely skinny and that's stressful to me.Like,when I go there, I'll be a giant,I know.I'm afraid of how I look.They are pretty (well that goes majority to their artist).I mean the skin.I am dark ( shoot..tanned from GC trip -_-) I am fat and weird-looking? I think..I will definitely catch all of the students' attention?haha!perasan glamour!
On the bright side, I'll just act friendly, be nice to everyone.I hope I can converse well in Korean with them.I need to study hard before going.
But the main thing I'm trying to say is that,I am afraid to go there because I am fat.I am afraid to wear all of my sisters' clothes that will expose all my fats -_- seriously I hate being fat.I need to start my diet regime like Jenny.Once I'm back from Korea,I need to start dieting.I started last week.I just ate an apple for breakfast and dinner and just some juice for lunch for a week.and when I got home,when I eat,my stomach hurts.It's like the body is not accepting food anymore.I stopped.Stopped doing that now because I'm afraid I'll fall sick in Korea and I don't want that.

Afraid..afraid..I am afraid to myself -_-

2010 revolution

New semester has started.Today is my second week of lecture.I have two more weeks before going to Korea.I feel like a zombie except for I eat everyday.*my english sucks*sorry -_-

But I want to change.I WILL CHANGE!
Starting tomorrow.I need to force myself.
These are the things I need to instill in this semester @ final semester:

1.Rise early(6am)
2.Sleep around 12-1am
3.Start reading and search more for journals.
4.Start doing research and start thinking of what to write.
5.Go to library or lab after class.Going back to hostel is prohibited.I know I will only eat,sleep and play play play!
6.Exercise!Go for morning walk at 7am
7.Stop eating 라면.I eat this 'thing' for like 4 packets per week?I know I'm killing myself.My friend said I'm eating poison.
8.Do revision everyday.
9.Start speaking Korean.Being in a Level 4 class,I need to speak more and read more!Started Level 4 today.It was awesome.The lecturer was really funny.We laughed so much.He asked me something and I answered something which makes the whole class burst into laughter.I was happy for being able to make them laugh.haha!Again,this class will be my favourite subject for this semester.
10.Make sure to follow all 9 rules XD

you know what,I have only 5 months left.Time flies.Yesterday I was that fool 1st year student who's afraid of dealing with the office staff from my department.Now,I don't care!e!e!e!e!XD


Envy is a waste of time.I have everything I need..

almost there

There will be no Part 2 for the pictures.I am too lazy to put them up. Plus I am not in the mood for it.I have so many things to think of.I need to start writing my thesis.I need to stop surfing for the unnecessary stuff.I need to study.I need to just bear for only 5 months,and I'll be free!Do whatever I want!

And I'll be going to Korea in less than 3 weeks.
Frankly speaking, I am scared to go there.ALONE
well not alone.I'll be going with another student.But the whole process will require only the two of us to move from Incheon to Gwangju.My Korean sucks and ok I admit,I am panicked!

I wanted this so much and now why whine?

Gold Coast,Australia_Part 1

I am back!Australia was fantastic!I went to Gold Coast with my family.
It was very hot.I guess it was hotter than Malaysia,but thank god it was windy.So we didn't feel so bad.Headed to the down under on the Dec 4th, arrived in the morning the next day.Back to Malaysia by 12th.
We went to Sea World,Movie World,Wet 'n' Wild Water World,Dreamworld.And with that my skin has turned really tanned.hoooo!
Went to Harbourtown for shopping but didn't buy anything but a t-shirt and souvenirs. Thought of going to shops after a long day at the theme parks,but guess what?all the shops close at 5.hah!It's like a dead city except for Surfers Paradise where you can still see people running partying even it's past 5.The only place we find food for dinner.Luckily we found a Malaysian restaurant.So, we went there for like 3 times.
Australia is exactly like New Zealand.I have been to NZ in 2004.The shops close at 5 too.*the way I write is so boring* I think just let the pictures do the talking =)









Last two pictures are the view from my room.We stayed at Sea World Resort.The others are all at Sea World.We just need to take the monorail from the hotel to get there.

A Trip

I'll be going for a 1-week trip to Australia starting this Friday.See ya!

still..no good news XD

Dream what you want to dream;/ Go where you want to go;/ Be what you want to be,/ Because you have only one life/ And one chance to do all the things/ You want to do./ May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,/ Enough trials to make you strong,/ Enough sorrow to keep you human and/ Enough hope to make you happy./ The happiest of people don't necessarily/ Have the best of everything;/ They just make the most of/ Everything that comes along their way./ The brightest future will always/ Be based on a forgotten past;/ You can't go forward in life until/ You let go of your past failures and heartaches./ When you were born, you were crying/ And everyone around you was smiling/ Live your life so at the end/ You're the one who is smiling and everyone/ Around you is crying. - Anonymous

Start now!

OMG.What am I doing?Ever since I arrived I just slept,non-stop of net-surfing.I haven't gone for jogging,I haven't gone to the library for research.I promised myself to quickly complete my project and I can go home happily every weekend.Gosh I need to force myself.I gotta be strict to myself.I need to stop eating cookies!And start eating healthily.I wanna go home this Friday.I don't care.Maybe I need to make a condition.If I wanna go home for the weekend,I need to make sure I complete my Chapter 1 of the report.OK.I take this challenge!I hope the next post is going to be about me done with chapter 1.LOL

I hate this place

I still can't accept the fact that I'm going to stay here for the whole semester break to complete my final year project.

A date to remember

I had a healthy diet starting last Sunday till yesterday.LOL
I exercised,I ate oats,fruits and drink plenty of water.This is my dinner.I never knew it tastes so good with banana!^^





My lunch:Never knew crackers taste so goooooooood with tuna!LOL!

On days when I managed to wake up early, I go for the 8km walk.But if I didn't wake up,I just make some lil exercise in my tiny room.So that I get to actually burn some calories =)

Today,I had chicken chop for lunch.It was fattening and yeah but that's ok.You gotta indulge yourself once in a while.Plus it was my lecturer's treat =) We gave her a birthday surprise this afternoon.The cake was great and yeah we had some fantastic conversation during lunch!It's a day to remember I say!

Exam's over!I need to get my fingers back on my lil keys ^^

The outing

Just got back from Kajang.Went out to buy some groceries XD I should't hae bought anything coz exam will be over this Wednesday and I'll go home after that.But I think if I don't go buy the 'healthy meal', I will definitely eat rice from cafe which is fattening.Yes.Haha.Now I'm fussy XD I bought apples,bananas,wholegrained bread,tuna,green tea.I took 1 bag of junk food and after thinking for quite a while, I put it back.Haha.I have to be strong this time.I want to be like Jenny!If she can do it,I can do it!^^

So I went out at 10.45am and arrived back to hostel at 1.45pm. I just went to the drug store,buy some groceries,ate branch, went to Speedy and I almost speechless when I saw this one cd.




While waiting for the bus.This is my hostel.It's opposite the bus stop.



I ate at Kyros Kebab.And my table was facing this cute stall.Oh I had branch near the animals' cages?O ok O______o

Went to Speedy and I saw this :



I wanted it but at the same time I don't want it.I think my interest towards them is starting to vanish.I mean by being obsessed towards them but I still love their songs. Yes. I am now a 2PM fan.Kinda. I guess the lawsuit thingy had turned me off especially when the 리더과 막내 said they're on the SM's side..Yeah of course the have to say that.No,they NEED to say that.Definitely that's what the SM lawyers want them to say to cover things up.Whatever. I'm not going to go deep in that.Whatever it is,my family doesn't have to worry anymore for me being obsessed with them.Yeah. But the love for music never stops growing in me =)

Alright,last picture for the day. While was waiting for the bus.Just being random =)



I did some thinking while on the bus and oh I want to say that, afraid to be alone is actually being afraid to grow up and be independent. In my case, I love to be alone.So, does that mean I want to grow up and be independent?and be alone by myself until the day I die?No, at the moment, I love being alone and do things on my own, being independent is the best thing for me right now. I have 1 more semester to complete and start seeking for a job. That time being alone is not something that I search for.It's time for me to find someone.
FYI, I have never had a BF before.*can't believe I say it here*Just millions of crushes ^^HAHA.Just Ripley's believe it or not people.Yes I am not lying. It's great or I just sound pathetic? But hey I am happy for being single for the past 21 years and still am. Sometimes I do feel lonely. I believe I have changed from a cheerful and never think about life too much into someone who is always think about the past too much and keep comparing things I don't have with people. Seriously. I know what made me into this.I was influenced by people around me, by friends.I am a person who is easily influenced.No kidding. I need to get away from negative thinking people and start living on my own.

Yesterday was like a s***.Today is heaven

Yesterday's paper was a total s***.But I'm not going to keep thinking bout it.

I have 5 days gap until my last paper.That's why I'm now watching drama,movies like there's no tomorrow.hah!
Hey i guess I only write about exam exam and more exams and stress here or maybe when I'm feeling sad or something.I should get some ideas on what to write about next!
But actually I just want to write,say random things, you know like, 'oh today I stepped on cat's shit', 'yesterday I saw Paris picked her nose in the toilet' or 'gosh I lost my pencil'. I know they sound lame but I can't help it XD. Well that's just a plan.But what I know for sure is, I'm going to write whatever thing that comes across my mind or what I feel at the moment or whatever thing I feel like writing about.

I'm done watching Lipstick Jungle.Both seasons.I love Victory.Her clothes,her body.Her everything XD.
Alright,I'm going to go watch some more movies ^^
ciao.

my mind is like milkshake

I was about to feel nothing about my organic paper until I found these people wrote all sorts of negative feedback on it. I was confused,upset, and didn't know how to react.And at the same time, I feel annoyed by 'something' at the hostel.Just ignore the feelings and carry on with the revision for tomorrow's exam.



Picture of the day ^^
the two things I can't live without ^_^

organic's done!

My organic exam just ended 35 minutes ago.I felt nothing.Did I manage to answer the Qs?Or I manage to remember all the synthesis?

I don't know.I just don't want to think about it.All I want to do now is SLEEP!The next paper is Kinetics on Thursday.So,this evening I have to star studying.But first,sleep!






I feel like posting a picture up here.haha.*don't have any idea*
I captured this using my SE phone on my journey back from Kelantan to KL during last raya.I think it's nice and decided to upload it.=) I captured tonnes of it but they all look kinda the same so..1 is enough i guess =)

Life is short

Life is short.I always tell myself to stop worrying,stop feeling sad.Be happy!Life's too short so there's no time to feel sad or something like that.Just try, or do whatever you want to do now.Cause opportunities don't come easily.
I will try to be positive.ALWAYS.
I want to be happy even for small things.
I want to make people happy but will I endup being happy too?

I have 3 more exams.The next one is on Tuesday.I just hope I have enough time to study, and be able to memorize all the important points.I am a very very VERY forgetful person.I guess it's the consequence of dealing with lotsa chemicals.
haha.I hope that's not true
XD

study study!

Exam will start on Wednesday.So how much have I studied?Well, actually I don't know what I studied.I am starting to give up.I haven't started anything and now I wanna give up?What is wrong with me.I can't be like this.I have to be strong.Study study study.I need to focus.I have to try no matter what happens.
My mood is like a roller coaster.1 minute before I was extremely happy,and a minute later,I'll be like..sht i hate life.Then,I'll be fine again.Hormone hormone.Well all I can do now is..stop fooling around and start studying!

Final!

I'm gonna start doing things I should be doing for the past few days.I will try not to give up.I will try to be strong. and I don't want to fool around.And I'm not gonna listen to negative things people say to me.I AM NOT GOING TO LISTEN AND FOLLOW!
I'm gonna do whatever thing I know is right for me and I will go strive for what I want in life.

I wanna go home

I wanna go home..I wanna go home..I miss home.I miss everyone at home.I wanna go home.

sick again and again

I fall sick again.For the 4th time for this semester.I'm having sore throat, flu, headache.I have night class for 3 days straight starting tonight and I have 2 assignments to complete..God,please give me strength to face all of these..

I will leave

Dear diary,

I said I won't be writing here for maybe a long time. But something just happened and I need to expressed how sad I am at the moment.

I know I am not an important person..I know I mean nothing to all of you..
I thought I am 1 of you..We used to be very close and always together.
But now I know,whatever I thought before was all wrong. I am not your close friend..anymore.No..We are not, even when were very close that time.

I think I should just stay away from all of you since my presence is not favourable to all of you.
I thought of inviting you to do revision together since the finals is just around the corner. But now, I don't think it's going to work anymore. I am nothing. Not you friend anymore. I know where I stand. I don't deserve to be friends with all of you.

From now on,I will try my best to avoid all of you. I don't wanna ruin your day. I will leave..

worst day ever

Today is the worst day ever.I never felt this bad before.It's because I had my presentation with 4 lecturers regarding my final year project.And when I was asked all sorts of questions,I couldn't answer.Even the basic ones.I can't face the lecturers now.I am feeling very embarrassed. One of the lecturers said, " I taught you for 2 semesters on coordination chemistry,but none of you can answer the Qs correctly.Is it my fault or your fault?" His words strucked me like a thunder. I admit I play a lot.I don't study.I don't revise.I have 1 semester left.Am I gonna let this happen again for the next semester?

Of course I don't want it to happen again. I have to start studying.I have to be serious.Now I'm thinking whether I should stop playing piano or not. I need to change. I don't wanna play anymore. I have to stop fooling around.
I can't stop thinking bout what happened today.I can still hear the lecturers laughing hearing my answers. I am ashamed of myself. To my friends.I just can't face the world anymore. I kept telling my friends I want to commit suicide.It's that bad.Well, we were joking bout it obviously.

Guess i need to be away from all of these enjoyable activities I have been doing ever since I started studying here. I will leave..Once I am stable and successfully forced and disciplined myself, I will come back.

So long..

I love my life <3

I think I am feeling less stressful now cause I have a rough idea on what to read for the presentation this monday.But what is bothering me is the time.I wish I can stop the time.Now I have to study for this Sunday's exam.I haven't studied a thing so yes it is stressful.Me and stress can't live apart.We can't live without each other.We are meant to be together.We can be best friends.But if 'stress' is my bestfriend..i would hate her..a friend who tend to make me ungrateful..hatred has grown in me towards my bestfriend..
to me..life is good when:
1.I get to do whatever I want whenever I want *play piano,watch tv...not like vandalisme or something XD
2.Be able to make other people happy.
3.Stress free
4.Get things I dreamt of
5.Live in goooooood health

But life isn't perfect.*This is what happens when I am not grateful.
Again, I need to tell myself to be grateful to God.Yes, I want to be grateful.Life is great.I love people around me.I love doing what I'm doing now.And I believe I can achieve whatever thing I want in life if I think positive and work towards it full-heartedly!
REMEMBER:The only place where dreams are IMPOSSIBLE is in your own MIND!

no more tears

I kept thinking why do I have to do all these?Why did I choose this path? Is God trying to test me?Yes I believe that He is trying to test me.I know I should be grateful for everything that He gave me.I should just accept my fate and try to do the best I can.I want to take every opportunity that comes and I want to be brave.I want to talk in front of people confidently.I want to be positive.I want to grow up.But that doesn't happen overnight.I am not a perfectionist but I always want to do things perfectly.Does that mean I'm a perfectionist?My friend said I'm ambitious.I believe I am.But even though I'm that kind of person,I don't do anything to achieve everything I want in life.And with that,I announced to the world that I AM USELESS.

life is a s**t

I am back in hostel now. Of course something happened before I came back. Some misunderstanding with my parents.I admit I am an ungrateful daughter. I didn't mean to do anything like that. I just didn't want to be such a burden to my family especially to my parents. I don't want all of you to miss going to relatives' houses just to send me back to hostel. I hate this place even more now. I just kept quiet in the car. I am very sorry to my father for having to send me all the way from PJ to Bangi.It took us 1 hour and I hate this place!I know it's only 1 hour if I wanna compare with other people who live in other states. If I study in UM, I don't mind having my parents fetching and sending me everyday since UM is only 10 minutes away from home.

According to the plan, I was supposed to get back to hostel by yesterday, but since it's a raya season, people came to our house bout 3 pm,and at 5.30 we went to visit my uncle at his house and by the time we finished eating,etc, it's almost 7pm.I told my dad, just send me tomorrow,it's getting late now.

I wanted to get back early because I have tonnes of work need to be completed.I think I'm going crazy now. My essey is not done yet. I just completed my slides for presentation and haven't studied anything from it.The presentation will be held this week * i don't know when is my turn*.It's crazy.During this presentation all the lecturers will shoot you with all sorts of questions.I am sure my knees will be shaking like they're gonna break. I just hope I won't faint.

Then, I need to complete my 25-page ASSignment that has to be handed in by Oct 15th.
Another ASSignment that consists of 9 Qs that has to be handed in by this Thursday. Another midterm test this coming weekend and of course I haven't studied a thing.

I just don't know how to face all of these. If I can stop the time.
Conclusion: I hate being a final year student.
I just can't wait for this to be over.

work work work!

Today is Monday.I will be going home this coming Wednesday, going back to hometown on Thursday with the whole family.I have 2 assignments ( Solid State Chemistry that requires me to write on single crystal structures for at least 25 pages -_- and a Korean Language essey on Korean's culture @ people @ movie).Plus I have to prepare slides for proposal presentation which will be held right after raya holiday.I ALSO HAVE TO STUDY AND FIND ANSWERS TO WHATEVER THING I WROTE IN MY PROPOSAL BECAUSE THE LECTURERS WILL TEMBAK ME WITH ALL SORTS OF QUESTIONS I KNOW I CAN'T ASNWER COS I AM NOT A REAL CHEMISTRY STUDENT.I know, I don't deserve to be called a chemistry student once I graduated or even now,I do not deserve to be called as one.Especially my organic knowledge.I really really lack of it.Not just organic,but other areas too.But organic is the worst.I keep on telling myself to study and always concentrate and relate things I learn to daily life so that I enjoy and understand more bout it.But but..I just don't know how.I am so dead.
So now, I gonna settle anything that can be settled here before going home.I guess I gotta start writing on the Korean class essey.I have to hand it in on the first week when the class reopens.Start searching for information on single crystal x-ray diffraction method and start writing!until I reach the 25th page -_-

A day with SS501

Hi there!
Sorry for the late report on SS501.huhu.
It's 541am and thinking of 'Denise is waiting for me' LOL XD

So, last Tuesday (Sept 1st 2009),while I was studying for midterm test which will be held at 3pm that day, I received an sms from my Korean class classmate@unnie,saying that SS501 is in Malaysia.I wasn't excited coz I am not a BIG fan of them.SO I thought,'Oh yeah??ok'.Then she said,they're gonna come to KL from KK for sign meeting.I was kinda excited but didn't expect to go see them. Then she said go to this blog and read the updates and vote for the tag blablablabla..So I go and checked it out.
I asked unnie whether she's asking me to go with her?and she said yes,she didn't have any friends to go with,so thought maybe I wanna go with her.I was getting more excited since she has a car and she wanted me to go with her.So I sais yes =)

Since then, I couldn't study for the test anymore.My hands and feet are getting chill cos of being to excited.

Then,Thursday arrived. My class ended at 12pm (thank god!) When back to college,bathed,changed clothes and we started our journey at 2pm (well the signmeeting is at 6pm).
We went somewhere first to pick up 2 girls because they didn't have transport,unnie get to know them from the blog.Arrived at the First World Hotel at about 4pm.
AT the lobby we saw two men standing guarding at a door,wearing tags with the boys's faces on them =) we thought maybe they're in there for the press conference. But the 1 of the men told us to go down.So we went down.and you know what,we have to line up at the car parking and it line was realllllllyyyyy long!Heard that the first to arrive was at 10am!
So,you can imagine,we arrived at 4pm and line?haha *just imagine.and the line keeps on getting longer.

While waiting,they announced that if we wanna go see them, we have to buy their album.It's not the new album.It's the old one.I will upload the pictures later k Denise ^^.The staff said 'don't worry the albums will be enough for everyone'.But we couldn't stay quietly.At last, someone we knew said she would go to the front and buy for us.Yeay!We waited and she came with 11 albums in her hands and her bags.
We opened up the wrapping to see the boy's pretty faces.

While waiting,I wrote my name on my left palm (in Korean) so when the boy is giving the auto, I can just tell and show my hand.haha

We wait wait and wait until 6pm,people are running towards the front line.And we were like?RUn!!!I thought they have opened the door,well actually I heard they said the albums are finishing,that's why people were running like crazy.But still we joined the crowd.haha

From 6pm,we were 'STUCK' in the crowd.We were struggling,pushing other people.There were no space left between me.Like my body no matter in front or the back touched with other people's body!haha.Sweating like a pig.It continued until 7pm.And finnaly we get to see the 'DOOR' to the room where the boys are.

At 720pm,we eventually get to get through the door.YAay!!with cameras in our hands,we were VERY excited walking to the room and suddenly the guards said,'NO CAMERA!' and I was like,NO!!!!I obediently put the camera in my pocket. Went into the room and were scolded by the host for not lining up.
We couldn't even see the line,so were like going to all sorts of direction.Sorry Mr'emcee.
Then he said,you can only take 1 autograph,and I was like 'huh'?!!
I wanted to take Kyu Jong's but his line as well as Hyun Joong's were kinda long.
To me, Young Saeng was not handsome,haha.But while I was randomly lining up (I didn't know I was in Young Saeng's line), when I saw his face,I was like "damn this guy is so handsome/cute!!" So I changed my perception towards him XD

But still,I changed my line.The right said was Hyung Jun's line ( baby) the right side was Hyun Joong's.Hyun Joong's line was obviously LONG!so I decided to take baby's line =)

My heart was thumping like mad. And my time has arrived.
Baby said hi!and said hi back!Planned to say anneyonghaseiyo,but was too nervous until I forget all the things I wanted to say.LOL
Then I gave him the album and quickly showed my palm saying that I am Shalyn in Korean!He looked at it,signed the auto and before that he wrote To:Shalyn (in Korean ) =) kyaaaa!!!
Later,he handed out his hand,shook my hand and said 'nice to meet you' =) and gave back my cd.I was like 'is this a dream??' XD

Unnie and I went out of the room,couldn't stop smiling and someone said that JeongMin's line got no people.And we were like 'ahhh!!so rugi laaa didn't go to him after met baby' we felt pity for JeongMin.My friend said, there was no one until he just played with the marker pen.-_- Sorry sorry really sorry.We should have gone to his line. -_-

Went out to the main lobby where the cars are.Everyone we like surrounding the cars (maybe they thought that's the boys' car). At 8pm, people were running to the main door and I guess the boys are leaving.And people were running towards moving cars assuming the boys have left in those cars. But I guess they exited through another secret door cos we didn't get to see them off.Finally they opened the room where the boys were.We went in and take pictures with BIG pictures of the faces.haha *so kesian*

Then at 8 something we started our journey home.Stopped for dinner at McD and went back to Uni.It was a wonderful experience despite the pushing and hard-to-breathe situation.I guess there were like 1000 fans attended?That's considered ok.I guess if it's tvxq or something,maybe I would die in the crowd...

I couldn't wait to tell bout it to our Korean class lecturer.haha
That's all Denise =) will update later once I have done with my proposal and my assignments ^^)

SS501 <3 <3

O.M.G!!!!I went to meet SS501 just now!!!!!!and I got hyung jun's autograph and shook his hand and and!!!Thank god I didn't faint!!!will write more bout it this saturday,so stay tuned!!!^^

busy!

I had a very bad headache last night because of my organic test.haha.My blood pressure must have been really high last night.This was the second time I got an extreme headache because of worrying too much.The first one was during my first year. I was clueless about this 1 particular subject I took. And a day before I take the exam, I called my mom telling her I wanna play piano once I have finished my exams.And we agreed to buy a keyboard after my exam. ^^
And today,right after the test,went back to hostel and I slept from 12 to 5pm. Woke up and went to bazaar ramadhan with my coursemates.
Next paper is on Tuesday and Saturday.
My mum keep asking when I'm coming back.I told her I have too much work and I don't think I'll be back until the raya holiday comes.*sounds like anak derhaka* -_-
I am sorry mama, I will try to settle all of my things over here and be back home to break fast with the family.I haven't gone home like 3 weeks.That's considered a long time since my house is just in PJ. Even those who stay farther go back every week.
Tomorrow I have to start doing my proposal for the final year project. And on wednesday I have to show it to my Professor,do corrections,submit it by the second week of September.
Besides that I have to settle my group assigment,my Korean essay (200-500words), my solid state chemistry assignment. Can these be done before the raya holiday which starts on the 19th?

please

Life is really stressful.
I panicked.I cried.I felt really down this evening all because of polymer lecture today.Only God knows how we struggled searching for the answer.Seven of us went to the lecturers' rooms.Went up and down,from this professor's room to the other and thank GOD!!Dr. Azizan was there, helped us A LOT!Thank you Professor!May God Bless you! =)
And Only GOD knows how I answered my polymer test.I don't wanna think bout it anymore.
Now I have to study Kinetics.The test is tomorrow!and I haven't started doing the revision yet!*knocks the head*
Tomorrow,me and my girls have to discuss for our final year project.The reactions, glassware and chemicals needed, how to synthesize certain chemical compounds, AND I have to submit it to my supervisor by this FRIDAY.SOmeone please kill me now.On Saturday morning,I will be having organic test.I never liked this subject.I never failed to get a C for every organic paper I sat for.haha.-_-

Life is stressful,isn't it?
So when can I sit back, relax and enjoy watching my favourite korean drama??O__________o

During Korean class, our lecturer asked us again who wanted to participate in the speech contest.I guess I was the only person in the class who's thinking bout it.He said 2 students from 2nd level are going to participate.He looked at me as if 'why don't you give it a try?'haha.I raised my hand asking bout it.He opened up the website and showed us the rules and regulations of the contest.It will be held on the 8th of October in UM. 80% of me wanted this, but I don't think I can speak in front of the public.I always get nervous even for small things.
I want to participate,yes I want..My parents encouraged me to join.Especially my father. It doesn't matter whether I win or not I just wanna try.But..ahhh too many buts!!I need someone to talk to..regarding this matter.
I always think,why do I have to be afraid to speak in front of people?I don't know them and they don;t know me. They are not cannibals or gods or presidents of large companies or what.They are just human beings like ME.When I do presentation,my heart rate increases,my hands freeze,my lips turn dry and my fingers can't stop shaking!and I tend to speak very fast whenever I do presentation.Not because I want to end it fast,it's just tututututtu
Just now I asked my friends bout how do I like when I present,they said my face looks cool,not like I'm nervous.But yes I speak very fast but doesn't look nervous at all! o God,they don't know how I feel inside.haha.Well thanks for the compliment?I guess XD
Maybe I'll go see my supervisor?She's the super nice lecturer in the whole wide world!^^ and tell her bout my 'problem'.Well she told us we can just go to her if we have problem.So,this is the time smurf!XD or maybe I just message her through FB.haha.How cool is that?A lecturer communicates with her student through FB.angangangXD

-=)

Fasting month is finally here.I HAVE to take this advantage to loooooosssseeee weight! =P

I wanna be skinny!

Now I am obsessed with clothes.Especially on Korean fashion.How i wish I can go there to shop.Haha!But first,I have to lose weight!I want to lose 10kg in 30 days.Do you think I can do it?I will try..starting tomorrow!It doesn't matter whether I faint or vomit or whatever..I will try my best to lose weight.I am desperate to lose weight.Seriously

sick again

Last Friday, I went back home.Mum made nasi lemak and rendang for me.haha.Special for me.Her beloved daughter XD

On Saturday, after seeing dentist, Dad wanted to eat rojak.So we had rojak for tea. At midnigth, I started having stomach ache.Later, I started vomiting.I kept vomiting and had to go to the toilet until 6am. In 12 hours, I vomited 7 times and had diarrhea*will just use term go-to-toilet XD* for 10 times.

At 5am, my sister suddenly woke up from her sleep,she told me she felt like vomiting.When she saw the pail beside our bed *i use the pail when i vomit,so i don't have to go to the toilet-no time!*, she ran to the toilet and started to vomit.She vomited 5 times all together and had no diarrhea.

After 7am, my father started to vomit and had diarrhea.
WHat's happening here?
Is it the rojak?No?My mum ate it, but she didn't get what we got.
Is it nasi lemak and rendang?No?My sister in law ate it too but she didn't get it.

At the same time, my friend at the hostel is having the same problem.Vomiting+diarrhea.I guess it's some kind of virus I brought from the Uni.

I can feel the vomit was full of oil.I can't imagine any food during that time as I feel like vomiting again.I was phobia that time.I wish I will feel phobia until I get skinny.haha

I should be studying now.hoho

PART 1: State the rules. Bold the statements that are true to you. Italicize the statements that you WISH are true. Leave the Fibs alone. Then, stab 5 people to do the same test.

PART 2: The tag.

I miss somebody right now. I don't watch TV these days. I wear glasses or contact lens. I love to play video games. I've tried marijuana. I have been in a threesome. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship. I believe honesty is usually the best policy. I curse. I have changed mentally over the last year. I'm totally smart. I've broken someone's bones. I'm paranoid sometimes. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free. I need money right now. I love sushi. I talk really, really fast. I have long hair. I have lost money in Las Vegas. I have at least one sibling. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D. I like the way I look. I am usually pessimistic. I have a lot of mood swings. I have a hidden talent. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have. I have a lot of friends. I am currently single. I have pecked someone of the same sex. I enjoy talking on the phone. I practically live in sweat pants or PJ pants. I love to shop. Enjoy window shopping. I would rather shop than eat. I don't hate anyone. I'm a pretty good dancer. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother. I have a cell phone. I believe in God. I watch MTV on a daily basis. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. I've rejected someone before. I want to have children in the future. I have changed a diaper before. I've called the cops on a friend before. I'm not allergic to anything. I have a lot to learn. I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger. I am shy around the opposite sex. I have tried alcohol before. I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past. I own the "South Park" movie. I would die for my best friends. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. I have used my sexuality to advance my career. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it. I am happy at this moment! I'm obsessed with guys. I study for tests most of the time. I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met. I am comfortable with who I am right now. I have more than just my ears pierced. I walk barefoot wherever I can. I have jumped off a bridge. I love sea turtles. I spend ridiculous money on makeup. Plan on achieving a major goal/dream. I'm proficient in a musical instrument. I worked at McDonald's restaurant. I hate office jobs. I love sci-fi movies.I think water rules.I went to college out of state. I like sausages. I love kisses. I fall for the worst people. I adore bright colors. I can't live without black eyeliner. I don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing. I usually like covers better than originals. I can pick up things with my toes. I can't whistle. I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snakes slither. I have ridden/owned a horse. I still have every journal I've written in. I can't stick to a diet. I talk in my sleep. I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions. Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. I have jazz in my blood. I wear a toe ring. I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with. I am a caffeine junkie. I cosplay or know what cosplaying is. I have been to over 15 conventions. I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better. I'm an artist. I only clean my room when necessary. I like a person of the same sex. I love being happy. I am an adrenaline junkie.

wake up!

My Korean class is getting more and more difficult.First,it's because I can only attend 3 hours per week instead of 4.So, I miss all the important points taught by the lecturer. Second, the grammar part is also getting hard.And the Topik test is only 1 month away.Plus the lecturer won't be here for 2 weeks from now because he's going to Korea.What do I do now? Keep studying until I memorize all the vocabulary and grammar and be able to make CORECCT sentences.
Majority of us don't know how to do correct sentences.We're still lack of the basic knowledge of how to make sentence that we learnt during the first level.I know he was mad just now looking at our sentences.Sorry,sir.I'll study back and redo the sentences! ^^

I admit this semester is really tough.Subjects I'm taking this semester:
1. Korean Third Level
2. Kinetics
3. Solid State Chemistry
4. Organic 2
5. Instrumentation 1
6. Polymer 2
7. Final year project
8. Management of Chemical Industries

Mid semester exam is like in 2 weeks?Am I ready?Of course not!To those out there, if you think you don't have a strong interest in chemistry, or science,better not take a course that is a science related.It's stressful and I seriously don't like it. But why did I take it?Well, it's an old story and I don't want to talk about it anymore.Lets just face the future and try my best at it.This is my 2nd last semester,I have to be serious this time. I don't want to extend another semester or another year because of my final year project or because I fail any paper*thankfully,i don't fail any paper until now*I have to keep praying and study hard!.I just knew that if I were to extend, there will be no HONORS on the scroll later.Means I will graduate without HONORS!Owh!I hope everything will go smoothly according to how I want it to be.
But even though I have to struggle to finish these 2 final semesters, I can't just ignore my college life.What I'm saying is, I have to study and at the same time,play hard!haha!Study when we have to,and play when it's time to play!yeeehaa! =p

I didn't know that my course is the ONLY professional course in our science and technology faculty.That's what my organic lecturer told us.Because we can register ourselves as chemist after we graduate and our signatures are valid for court case.Huh?Sounds serious isn't it?And of course before you can register as a chemist,you have to go through series of examinations and etc.But this is not I want.*Am I crazy or what?people would want this.Sounds like I am not interested in working.Psycho,that's me -_-.Because I think I'm still 14 and still schooling and still not ready to enter the working world.I'm still a kid!
*someone please come and slap me on the face*
Wake up!you're 21 now!Can even vote during election.o my,why do I have to grow so fast?haha.well,face it fatso -_-

diet!

I realized that I can't just do nothing to lose weight.Starting tomorrow, I will do something to lose weight.
I have 20 more days until fasting month.I gonna start this challenge until raya arrives.So I have 7 weeks to lose weight.I want to lose 14kg if possible.Means 2kg/week.How am I gonna do that?
1.I have to go jogging EVERYDAY
2.I have to cut down on sugary,oily food.
3.I need to replace white bread with wholegrain.
4.Drink plenty of water.
5.Eat lotsa vege and fruits.

Can I do these?This is Malaysia.Most of the people eat rice twice a day.I need to search for healthier food.I need salad,fruits.*sigh*

I went to Midvalley with friends today.And I HATE using KTM.Why can't they improve the system?It's worse than sardine in a can.I can smell from people's armpits.Yuck!

Arrived to hostel safely.I bathed with shower gel I bought from Body Shop.The smell is not too strong.Later I put on body lotion I bought at The Face Shop.I love the smell.It has avocado extracts ^^ I slept till 7pm.
I have Korean class tomorrow.I have to study Korean Language tonight and also tomorrow I wanna go donate blood!

??

I know I shouldn't be like this.I admit that I feel lonely.
I don't have any social life here.It's Uni life now and I should mix around with people.Today,after class,I went to buy lunch,watched youtube,slept for like 2hours,then when I woke up.I feel as if I am alone.
What my mum always said,'You're a lonely cow'.She's right.
I go to class by myself.I eat alone.Do assignments alone.Have fun alone.Haha.What a pathetic life I have.
Can somebody tell me,what are the things I can do to spice up my life?
I need to get away from here -_-

I took this from Lina's page =p

Tag Done: July 21, 2009

==========================================

Five things I found in my bag
1) Purse
2) Phone
3) Pen
4) Tissue
5) Sweets

Five things I found in my wallet
1) IC
2) Driver's licence
3) ATM card
4) Picture
5) Cash

Five favorite things in my room
1) Music keyboard
2) Bed
3) Food XD
4) Laptop
5) CDs

Five things I've always wanted to do
1) Study abroad
2) Speak chinese
3) Play piano like Lina,Jenny and Melissa ^^
4) Be cool.LOL
5) Do voluntary work

Five things I'm currently into
1) 2PM XD
2) Preparing for TOPIK
3) Thinking of how to make lotsa money
4) Learn and play piano
5) Save money for a new keyboard

Five people I'm gonna tag
1) Just copy and paste it in your own blog if you have nothing to do XD
2) anyone
3) strangers
4) err,you over there?
5) lee hyo ri.duh!

sick again

I fell sick.AGAIN.I had it last week,on thursday.Yesterday all these headache+cold+sore throat and cough came back.I went to see the doctor and he prescribed me all sorts of chemicals.haha.He told me to come back and do blood test if I still sick next week.I saw many people sick now.Even my friends,they got headache,cough,cold and high fever.All I can do now is take the pills,cough syrup as prescribed,finish up my antibiotics and rest.After went to the doctor,I had lunch and took all my 'chemical' he gave me,and went to sleep.I slept from 11am till 6pm.I feel better now.The heachache is kinda better now.But it's starting again.Well,I have taken the meds for the 2nd time now.Tonight I'm just gonna rest while watching 'My Girl' until I fall asleep =)

I hate my life

and..again..I made ANOTHER mistake.I know I should have just completed it months ago..and just now, someone just told me to hurry do the report and he told me the problems we are facing. again.I know it's my fault.Do I have to blame myself for it?Ok, as a secretary of the club, I know I should do all reports,proposal etc.But Hello?Look what the previous seniors had done to us? I even asked them the reports etc, but some were just don't care about it. And what Zul told me about the consequence is enough to make my blood pressure hits the highest point it possibly can go. And so, I disconnect the line just to concentrate on doing the report.And now,they are all gone. I want them to see the report I have completed.Well I don't have any experience,and I want them to check it.Showed to a friend and she said my report's kinda simple and short but that's ok.She added usually people insert budget,some photos etc..and now, I just don't know what to do.Why do I have to be the secretary?Why do I even have to have a post in the club?!
I hate my life.I'll just bear with it and wait for the best thing to happen in my life.
Like..what?what?you tell me?FYI,I HATE MY LIFE, HERE!

bleeds again

Today class ended at 5.So, I had no time to practice and watch Andrew's video*excuses*
huhu.I should be studying now,but I just can't take my eyes off of 2PM hot members.I know I was kinda late.I am starting to like Again & again and Hate you...ohhhh!!!*nose bleeds* ^^)

good news+bad news

I played too much today. Back from Korean class, I watched My Girl and I.After that, He Who Can't Marry Ep2.And just now I watched family outing,latest episode.God, I am extremely addicted to Korean shows. But at least before I watch FO,I completed my Korean class homework.Yaay!The exercises are getting tougher now.I wonder whether I manage to get through it this time. Well, I need to study harder.And the TOPIK test is only 2 months away.
Good news: I managed to wake up at 6.30am eventhough there was no class in the morning.And,the good thing is, I didn't sleep until now.WOW.Getting back to the old me when I was doing practical.I hope this will continue.Woke up early.Had breakfast while watching piano Lesson #1 and #2 from Andrew's videos.What did I learn from the videos? Well, I get to know scale is ^^ Scale is a group of keys that sound good together.Am I right Lina? ^^ What else?I learnt whole tone, semi tone.To determine the scale I have to know these whole tone and semi tone. He showed C major scale and G major scale * not sure whether I use term right.sorry*
formula : 2whole tone/1 semi tone/3whole tone/1 semi tone
*still not sure.have to check it back*-_-

Finished watching, I practiced for 1 hour.Trained my fingers on the scales.I need to keep on doing this until I get it all right.Tomorrow is a new day,and must practice!

Bad news: I ate rice for lunch and didn't for exercise this evening.But I did some Nobody dance steps.LOL.I only get the 1st part at the moment.

Now I have to go study polymer for tomorrow's class -_- btw it's 11.38pm and that's when I'm starting to study.I am so dead -_- and I have class at 8am tomorrow.
WARNING : Kids, please don't try this at home

new resolutions

I wanna play piano.I wanna be good at it.I really do.I know I keep giving myself lame excuses.Busy with assignments.Final year project,this and that.

Told myself, if want something,nothing can stop me.And with that, I promised myself:
> I will at least practice for 1 hour a day.
> Watch all of Lypur's tutorial videos and make sure to learn all the theory and
whatsoever from there.
> Save money so that I can buy a full length and sensitive keyboard at the end of
the semester ^^
> Listen to more music,like what has been suggested by Lina.Thanks Lina =)
> BE PATIENT
> BE HEALTHY,So that I will be able to achieve my dream XD

I feel a bit dissapointed for not starting piano when I was younger.Now, everything is kinda difficult and..
NO MORE EXCUSES!!!Well, everything happens for a reason.-_-
and I don't wanna think bout anything now.
I just wanna do what I'm suppose to do *getting my degree etc* and live life to the fullest.
And please *telling myself*, I have to be smart at handling stress. FYI, a super tiny problem is enough to make me stress.
And I am worried I will die early because of that.I have to think of happy moments, happy faces,good things!
I am not feeling well since last Thursday,and that's stressful!I gotta see doctor tomorrow.I hate my over-sensitive nose.It started making problems since the very first semester I entered Uni.
We'll see what the doctor has to say tomorrow.

tonight

Somewhere there's someone who dreams of your smile,
and finds in your presence that life is worth while.
So when you are lonely, remember it's true
Somebody somewhere is thinking of you.

- K. Blackburn -

Tonight I just got so emotional.Listening to TAXI and it makes me more and more emo -_-
LOL..Found that poem and really liked it. ^^
I am now thinking where I should go tomorrow.Again, going somewhere alone.
Well,it's ok.That's me.And I like to be alone.But I hate to feel lonely.

dilemma

After class,I told my lecturer that every Wednesday, I WILL be late because I have class before that.She said where's the class?and I said PB.And she was like?whattt??!!so far!and yes she asked my name..I told her mine and she said,she's gonna wait for me for tommorow's class.I freaked out and just laughed.She smiled.and I went out after I thank her.
Ok,now I am in dilemma.Should I take the language class?or drop it?
I think I'll run to the next class once I have gotten out from the Korean class.I will run.Yes.I can't wait for the bus.I just can't.I can't stand to wait for it.I will get out of the class bout 12.50 and make sure I arrive to the next class latest by 1.05..
If I can't bear with this for the next 3 months,I will drop Korean Level 3 class next week -_-
Well,I did the same thing when I was taking Korean 1st level.But the korean class is after my major class.This time,the major class is right after the Korean class.I am dead.
The project titles are all out.Now I need to do some research on the topics..see the lecturers by tomorrow and I have to decide it by Thursday.
Yes.I admit.Life is HARD.
Extremely HARD

Another first day

I have decided.I will continue my 3rd level Korean Language class.I am willing to skip 1 hour class in order to able to learn Korean again!And tomorrow I have to tell my polymer lecturer that I will be a lil bit late for her class on Wednesday.During our 3rd level first meeting this afternoon,I was struggling to change the timetable.LOL.But it seems that majority do not have any problem with the original timetable.I told the lecturer that if it doesn't change,then I will DROP the course.And thank God he told us what one of his students did during previous semester.And with the support of other friends,I will take the RISK.he told me that if I do that(skip1 hour every week),my grade won't be A or A-.I don't mind,cause this subject is not going affect my pointer later.yaay!So,I am happy now!^^and I can take TOPIK test as well!!another yaay!!!^_^

I started my first day of exercise regime today.I went with my good friend to the stadium at 5.30pm and my face is burnt.I have to go at 6 starting tommorow.It's too hot.And I am getting sunburned.I didn't jog,just did 10-round of brisk walking.This whole week I'm gonna just brisk walk.next week I'll start jogging.

But shoooooot!I ate so much for dinner.What's the purpose of exercising just now?-_-

I want this baby

I want this baby.But when I saw the price,I felt like fainting.haha
Start saving!!Once I finish this semester,I'm gonna go for keyboard-hunting!So,I give myself bout 4months to save money.Good luck to me.
Well,it doesn't necessarily have to be exactly this keyboard.I just want a full-length,sensitive keyboard.

Piano in my life

I don't know what to do now!Too lazy to do assignment.Too lazy to do revision.Duh!The new semester just started like in a week..do I need to start studying now?argh!!
I wanna go home!I miss my keyboard -_-
I want a full length keyboard,so that I can learn to play neorago from Jenny's and Gee from Melissa's tutorials.
Mama!!I want a new keyboard.I need to start saving!So that at the end of this semester I am able to buy a new full length,sensitive keyboard.
The way I said it as if I'm a pro..or have been playing piano for like 10 11 years?LOL.
O my..do I have to wait till I am 40 years old to be able to play like Lina,Jenny and Melissa?
Why didn't I just learnt it when I was young?I still remember when I was 9 I went to the trial piano class,and my sister said she's gonna leave me alone if I wanna enter that class.I was afraid.So after that trial,I didn't go there anymore.-_-
Only God knows how I felt that time.But I'm feeling very grateful for being able to play and learn piano now.

study time!

I'm taking 14 units this semester.The subjects are a lot tougher than last semester.Of course,they are final year subjects.Started polymer and kinetics class today.And the polymer lecturer freaked me out.She knows all of her students' name in the class except for us and yes she's gonna memorize all of our names slowly.I need to make sure I study every subject before I enter the class especially polymer!.I am scared.Seriously.I hope by having this kind of feeling, I won't be lazy and always do revision and can get good results for all subjects.LOL!

new day

Ok,yesterday you asked me to return the key.After that, you told me to come and collect the kay at 2.I came at 1.45 and I know I'm too early. I waited.Went to the counter at 2,and she said, it's not ready yet.So I patiently waited for my key to be ready.Guess what?I waited till 4 o'clock for the key.Hello?This is Malaysia.I should not be surprised.Well. I am not.I am just upset. Why can't people change their attitude.Or I mean the organization.They have to provide good service.I pay for the hostel.Not that I stay here for free.Why didn't you check whether the keys are enough or not?You should know.It's a new semester.All of you have to be prepared.Okay,enough.I don't want to ruin my mood.

I am sure lecture will start tomorrow.And god, most of my classes start at 8am.Don't know how I'm gonna wake my sleepy head up.It's ok.It's a new semester.With a new resolution.I'm gonna study harder this time and try to be the best.I want to change.I don't want to be lazy. I want to show everyone that I am also capable to compete with them.well.FIGHTING!

It is over now

OMG!it's over!!I am happy!and yes I am happy because the training programme is over,new semester is starting( can't believe that I'm actually missing my U life).I was gonna cry during the goodbye session.I hugged everyone.Those who have helped me through for these whole 8-week of training.I am very very grateful and no words can explain how thankful I am to all of you.Thank you for being there.I will never forget all the good times we've been together. I love going there cause we laughed so much everyday!I think 40% of my time was spent laughing with all the staffs ^^)
the nasi lemak this morning was great!everyone showed good commitment.Just that something that made me upset,I mean all of us mad.Someone just said something to us when we were happy preparing for tea break.o god.Give me a break!

so long..

This Friday would be the last day of being a trainee at JKM.Before I went off,some of the staffs planned to do a small farewell party for me ^^ that is so nice of them!I never thought of it cause we had it already last friday.But that was with the whole section.Everyone was so excited planning for it just now. They discussed who needs to bring what..I just smiled.And one of them said,"you don't have to bring anything cause it's for you!" omg omg..they're so nice..
I can't wait for this traning programme to end,but at the same time,I don't wanna leave all of them. These 8 weeks have given me so much of sweet memories.Except for the incident that happened on week 6 where I was cursed by someone. Well now I don't feel upset when I think bout it now.No!sometimes I feel upset.But not as bad as on the day 'it' happened.
But whatever it is, I am very very thankful for given a chance to do industrial training there. I had the chance to meet nice,amazing,important people.Learnt so many things,not just about chemistry but also about life.It has thought me a lot.So, am I prepared to face the real world?ready to start working?I am still searching for the answer..

It's 1216 am

I need to get back to university on the 5th of July cause I have to submit my report to my lecturer on the 6th.I haven't done my report and I am so dead.hohohoho..
1 more week until the training programme ends.Actually I can't wait for it to end.Studying is better than working.Yes.Studying is stressful, But for me, working is even more stressful. My Uni got was on tv last night and I can't believe that I actually miss my college already.LOL.usually I was the one who can't wait to get out of that college =p well I have 1 more year to get my degree and I really really really hope I'd be able to be what I wanna be and get what I want. It's still a secret to my family, friends except to my beloved cousin ^_^ Dilin dearie,thanks for listening to all my ridiculous dreams *HUGS* I know my 'dream' is really ridiculous and it's impossible for me to get it. It's like, I'm only at the 1st step and I have like millions of steps more to get there.I give myself 1 year to slowly walk towards it. I know,with determination and of course I'll keep on praying to YOU,I will get there,eventhough it takes me years.God, my eyes got all teary whenever I think bout it -_-
I need to go start writing my report now.

what's wrong with her?

Something weird happened today.
Normally,she doesn't smile at me. I mean before the incident,she doesn't even care to look or smile at me.
But after the incident, I mean today, she smiled many times.TO ME.I opened the door for her,she smiled. I walked passed her,she smiled at me. What's wrong with her?She's feeling guilty?You bet?Are you okay,miss?

I want to wear these so bad!

These two above I bought 4 years ago.LOL.But never get the chance to were them. -_-
Bought this red outfit1 year ago.Again, no chance of wearing it. Yes I am fat. I'm sure you see it's kinda big. You can even fit it it.But trust me, I can't -_-

I was so crazy over this stripe top,I bought two of 'em.It's only RM10 each!Should have bought all colours available that time =P




Bought this green top also with my bestfriend. If I'm not mistaken I got it for RM20.

So,can I be considered as shopaholic?haha.I go crazy over nice,pretty,cute tops.But not shoes.Maybe I will once I earn my own money XD

End

I'm starting to forget all of it.Well not all of them,just some of them. Whenever I remember it, I feel upset but not like I'm going to cry. The more I think of it,the more I am determined to work towards my dream,so that I don't have to take the path I'm taking now.
I believe what my cousin said,
'God won't give you this kind of problem if you're not strong enough.He gave you this because He knows you can get through it.'
And I want to keep believing on that.

Okay.Stop right there. I won't bring up that topic anymore. I just want to enjoy my life. Do things I love. And forget all the bad memories I have been carrying for the past 8 years.

Goodbye old memories

Another day

I felt terrible this morning. Woke up late. Arrived as usual to work. First thing,uncle came up to me asked "are you mad at me?" and I said, "no,of course not".
Then later he asked me what did my supervisor said to me.And I just told him some of it. I am a talkative person but today I think it's the first time I felt like not to open my mouth eventhough I have so much to say. I think I need to talk less. Be less friendly. Don't talk unless it's something important. Don't go anywhere it's somewhere I need to go. Don't do things unless I need to do it. I need to act dumb. Be stupid. I'm just gonna act like a retarded after this. I'm the type of person where when you say A, I'll follow A.But at the same time, I like to take my own initiative to improve on something. But I guess I have to change all that after this. That's not how the world works. People won't stop cursing, talking,saying bad things about you till the day you die. And how much good deeds you have done, once you do something awful,all of the efforts before will be forgotten. In conclusion, I don't have to be a good person, friendly, hardworking, perfectionist etc. Just be stupid,dumb whatever you call it. And I guarantee no one will care whatever thing you do.
Went to celcom this afternoon to change my simcard. But once they checked my account, they said my number has been terminated. I got kinda upset. I like my number so much. It's very easy for everyone to memorise. To sum it all up, I hate celcom. Not just because terminating my number, but also for their terrible service on broadband. I call it celcom bullshit.The connection is friggin' slow. There's only one thing that will always be fast, on time. THE BILL.

Later after that, I went to KFC for lunch. Alone. Yeah that's me. I like to do things alone. True what uncle told me. He said I'm independent and he asked me whether I have planned to be out of my house once I've graduated?Yes, it's kinda true.LOLLL!!But not that I wanna stay in a different house from my family. I just wanna be far far away from Malaysia. I wanna have a new life somewhere else.Doing something I love and live my dreams. Yeah yeah right.
I dream too much and what I do?nothing.Just go to the celcom building and jump off..hahaha.whatever

I just made a BIG mistake today

I never knew today would be the worst day ever in my life. I'm still shaking since 4pm. I didn't know that I would drag other people into my huge problem. It started when 2 trainees came to visit our lab.They asked me and the other trainee Qs and I explained to them a bit about this and that. And later they wanted to visit the instrument lab,so, I brought them over there. After that, they wanted to see another trainee, and I was so stupid and just brought them to the other lab..As soon as we went out of the lab, I saw all trainees and went to say hi and stuff. Some of them said they wanted to see my lab. And again, I brought all of them into my lab. Then I told uncle, if possible, let them see the store where they keep the samples. And uncle brought them into the store.
In the store, 1 of the trainees told me she wanted to get out of the lab. I asked her why,and she said the ma'am in front there asked them to leave. I was scared and didn't know what to do. Then the girl who wanted to go out so badly told everyone to go out. I went out too,and not long after that my supervisor called me into her room. She scolded me why I brought them in. I explained saying that some of the trainees want to see other labs before they finish doing the practical. She said I don't have the right and need to ask for permission for that. Yes I admit. It was my fault. I didn't know that I can't let the trainees in. Even the trainees are workers of that place. So I think it is not wrong. I am sorry for bringing all of you(uncle,my supervisor and the other trainee) such trouble. And I feel stupid. I feel very very sorry to uncle because he got scolded too. My supervisor said bad things to him. Cursing me. Saying I don't have the right to do this and that.Yes I admit that and I am sorry. Very sorry because I don't know. She even said something that really hurt my feelings to uncle. Yes, you are the boss. And I am just your worker.No, I am just some stupid trainee who came to spend her 8 weeks of semester break trying to learn and get new experience there. But it turned out to be a worse one. I apologise to uncle for dragging him into this. I am so sorry.I didn't mean to do that. You were so nice to me all this while and see what I have done to you.

Before I went home, I didn't ask my supervisor for her signature. I'm scared. I'm afraid she might start scolding and cursing me in front of other people. And I know one of the chemists know that I am actually trying to run away from my supervisor and she signed my card. Thank you for being understanding.
My friend, the other trainee told me that he knows how I feel and want me to just forget whatever happened just now.Thanks.

Walking home helplessly. In my heart I was praying I'll get hit by a car or lorry from behind or from the front. I just wanna die. Or get involve in an accident. So that I'll be admitted into the hospital and don't need to go to work until training session ends. Or I should just get hit by a car and lose memory. Unfortunately, I got back home safely.

I went straight to my room as I enter the house. I usually eat something once I'm home. I don't have the appetite now.
I want to sleep.Sleep forever.

Now all I want to say is, I didn't mean to do what I have done today. I didn't know and I admit that it was my fault. I am so sorry to those who got involved into this problem. I am sorry especially to uncle. I am so sorry. I hope you don't get any high blood pressure or something. Now I'm getting headache for crying.

All I ask for is forgiveness. I am sorry. Troublesome.That's me.I know.
I know it's a sin to think of doing stupid things. But I can't stop thinking of it right now. Maybe I should just go knock my head on the wall and stop until I see blood running down from my forehead to chin.

Now, I just don't know how to face them tomorrow..

regret

It's my 6th week of being a trainee. I never thought of being a chemist when I was small. Frankly speaking I never like to work with chemicals or in laboratory. I'm afraid it might explode or something terrible happen when I'm working in it. But why did I end up taking chemistry? If I could turn back time, I will definitely change all of these. I want to work harder for my SPM. Do well for my pre-U and take a better course. If only..If only..If only..R-E-G-R-E-T.That's all I can say. I should just forget about it. I have to finish what I started. I have 1 more year to go to obtain degree. But even though I am qualified to be a chemist after this, I will find other options and working with chemicals would be my last resort. No one in my family knows about this. My mom would kill me if she knows this because she never agreed of my course. Why why why??Why did I take chemistry? It's a long story..now, I can only continue what I am doing.Yes.

This morning, at 8am..my supervisor came and asked me about the case I'm doing. She saw the due date and said,'so when are you going to finish it?' I said 'Errr..Yes, I'm going to proceed today.I have to stripe all of the samples today'
And she just went away. She was kinda mad. But hey, it's not my fault. I am just a trainee. Everyone there is facing a BIG problem because of someone and I have to settle everything. So, if things do not meet your expectation, don't be mad,ok? I know you're under pressure, and always being pushed around by the boss, but please don't treat others as if they're rubbish. I am just a trainee and I don't deserve to say anything. I understand your problem and I don't blame you for that. I just want you to treat us fairly.

Reached home at 5.40pm and I am extremely exhausted. I need rest. -_-

^^

Yesterday, I wanted to record my kiss shita but my pedal was not working.Tried to fix it, but this time, I really need to buy a new one.
Went to OU this afternoon and bought a new one. O.M.G.It's rm75...very expensive..to me..to a person who's still studying. Yes, IT IS EXPENSIVE.
Before that,I watched 17 Again, starring Zach Efron. Yes, it wasn't that nice. Kinda boring and yesterday went to watch Hannah Montana. Guess it's better that 17 Again. Yeah and I love all of Hannah Montana's soundtracks! Thought of buying the cd. And it's more than rm40...told my sister bout it and she said, 'I have bought it!'yeay!!So no need for me to spend so much money on it!phew!

and and I saw many people today..saw Eizlan Yusof, Yasmin Ahmad and her family, Aliah Lee and Aziz M Osman and their kids! huhuhuhu

that's all for now!

dead dead dead

I have 4 more weeks until new semester starts. Please please let these another 4 weeks of practical run smoothly. I need to start writing my report! Urghh!!lazy bum!
I need to force myself. Tomorrow's monday and I hate it. I have to get up at 6..and head to lrt station by 7.15. reach the office by 7.30..will be back home at 5.40...
omg
come on smurf, only 1 month left..and later after that I'll be dead. dead. dead. dead.I don't know how my final year life's gonna be.
This thursday, last semester's result will be out. o my -_-

RIP

My keyboard pedal didn't work yesterday. I was mad. Swearing in front of my parents.Oops!
This morning, I took out a screw driver from my dad's tool box and I opened the pedal, hoping to fix it..opened it, then pressed this, scratched my head, went to the toilet..then tried to see whether it's ok or not.NOOOO!still not working..I opened it again..tried this and that.and at lastttttt, managed to fix it!yeayyy!!!thank god.I spent rm 56 for that thing and it's not even 6months.ceit!

owh my.I only went for exercise twice this week. And during lunch I ate rice etc. God, I need to be strong and say no!!!to those who ask me out for lunch.lol XD
Thought of uploading the clothes I wanna wear here, but my sister brought the camera to her lecturer's wedding. So, I'll just upload it later ya..

I have so much things to say yesterday and the day before that, but I have forgotten all of it O__o
heh..my memory is getting weaker each day. I guess because everyday I inhale all sorts of chemicals at the office?ohhhh by the time I reach 30--->RIP

1st day

I started walking at 5.45pm today. Made 10 rounds and went home. My legs are freaking tired right now.. I didn't really sweating, maybe it was windy this evening.
Had a mexican bun for breakfast ( i know it's fattening! XD) didn't eat anything for lunch. Had an apple, banana and 2 pieces of chicken(fattening!!!!) for dinner.
Tomorrow I gotta close my eyes whenever I pass the kitchen.-_-
I need to drink plenty of water. Continue my daily brisk walking or do Paula Abdul's workout..

You know what..my dad came home with 6bars of Cadbury choc and I was like....whaaaaaatt!!! -_-
I need to be strict to myself.No choc, no rice, no junk food until this Sunday. and drinkkkkkkk plenty of water and exercise exercise exercise!!

I have 5 more weeks before the new semester starts.. I need to make sure I lose like 6 7kg?
go go!!!
well, good luck to me ^^)

fat+ugly=L.O.S.E.R

I am fat..yeah..people keep asking me what's my weight...what have I done in order to lose weight..I guess my weight problem has given all of you headache?
It's hard when you're fat AND BIG
It's hard when you're ugly
people keep on asking me whether I am mixed or something. Yes I'm ugly.So what? go tell everyone not to talk to me.
I hate this place!

I'll try my best to lose weight. And I wanna prove to all of you that this ugly betty button can lose weight, be slimmer, thinner than all of you!hohohohoho!
I will post up some pictures of the clothes I bought but never had the chance to wear it later ^^

so to those out there who's having the same problem as me, let's start today! I usually need someone to motivate me..so if you think you need someone..we can motivate each other here ^^

things I have to do in order to lose weight:
1. cut down on sugar, salt, carbs
2.exercise daily
3.drink at least 8 glasses of water
4. hang my dream tops and jeans somewhere I can always see..so that it keeps motivating me ^^

alright people..gotta go!see ya! ^-^

Welcome everyone! =)

Welcome to my blog!

First of all, I would like to say thank you for spending some of your time reading my dull blog =)
I am just an ordinary person and I am here to say or make comments or anything that makes me want to share with all of you. I am sorry if things I write about is not up to your standard or taste or if my sentence or words used are not appropriate, I'd like to apologize cause English is not my mother tongue. Plus I blog because I want to improve my English. So, if my grammar or whatever you think needs to be corrected, please feel free to correct me. I'll be happy for that. Thank you

p/s : I don't think people would read my blog.lol
I don't care =P