I am back in hostel now. Of course something happened before I came back. Some misunderstanding with my parents.I admit I am an ungrateful daughter. I didn't mean to do anything like that. I just didn't want to be such a burden to my family especially to my parents. I don't want all of you to miss going to relatives' houses just to send me back to hostel. I hate this place even more now. I just kept quiet in the car. I am very sorry to my father for having to send me all the way from PJ to Bangi.It took us 1 hour and I hate this place!I know it's only 1 hour if I wanna compare with other people who live in other states. If I study in UM, I don't mind having my parents fetching and sending me everyday since UM is only 10 minutes away from home.
According to the plan, I was supposed to get back to hostel by yesterday, but since it's a raya season, people came to our house bout 3 pm,and at 5.30 we went to visit my uncle at his house and by the time we finished eating,etc, it's almost 7pm.I told my dad, just send me tomorrow,it's getting late now.
I wanted to get back early because I have tonnes of work need to be completed.I think I'm going crazy now. My essey is not done yet. I just completed my slides for presentation and haven't studied anything from it.The presentation will be held this week * i don't know when is my turn*.It's crazy.During this presentation all the lecturers will shoot you with all sorts of questions.I am sure my knees will be shaking like they're gonna break. I just hope I won't faint.
Then, I need to complete my 25-page ASSignment that has to be handed in by Oct 15th.
Another ASSignment that consists of 9 Qs that has to be handed in by this Thursday. Another midterm test this coming weekend and of course I haven't studied a thing.
I just don't know how to face all of these. If I can stop the time.
Conclusion: I hate being a final year student.
I just can't wait for this to be over.
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
busy!
I had a very bad headache last night because of my organic test.haha.My blood pressure must have been really high last night.This was the second time I got an extreme headache because of worrying too much.The first one was during my first year. I was clueless about this 1 particular subject I took. And a day before I take the exam, I called my mom telling her I wanna play piano once I have finished my exams.And we agreed to buy a keyboard after my exam. ^^
And today,right after the test,went back to hostel and I slept from 12 to 5pm. Woke up and went to bazaar ramadhan with my coursemates.
Next paper is on Tuesday and Saturday.
My mum keep asking when I'm coming back.I told her I have too much work and I don't think I'll be back until the raya holiday comes.*sounds like anak derhaka* -_-
I am sorry mama, I will try to settle all of my things over here and be back home to break fast with the family.I haven't gone home like 3 weeks.That's considered a long time since my house is just in PJ. Even those who stay farther go back every week.
Tomorrow I have to start doing my proposal for the final year project. And on wednesday I have to show it to my Professor,do corrections,submit it by the second week of September.
Besides that I have to settle my group assigment,my Korean essay (200-500words), my solid state chemistry assignment. Can these be done before the raya holiday which starts on the 19th?
And today,right after the test,went back to hostel and I slept from 12 to 5pm. Woke up and went to bazaar ramadhan with my coursemates.
Next paper is on Tuesday and Saturday.
My mum keep asking when I'm coming back.I told her I have too much work and I don't think I'll be back until the raya holiday comes.*sounds like anak derhaka* -_-
I am sorry mama, I will try to settle all of my things over here and be back home to break fast with the family.I haven't gone home like 3 weeks.That's considered a long time since my house is just in PJ. Even those who stay farther go back every week.
Tomorrow I have to start doing my proposal for the final year project. And on wednesday I have to show it to my Professor,do corrections,submit it by the second week of September.
Besides that I have to settle my group assigment,my Korean essay (200-500words), my solid state chemistry assignment. Can these be done before the raya holiday which starts on the 19th?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
please
Life is really stressful.
I panicked.I cried.I felt really down this evening all because of polymer lecture today.Only God knows how we struggled searching for the answer.Seven of us went to the lecturers' rooms.Went up and down,from this professor's room to the other and thank GOD!!Dr. Azizan was there, helped us A LOT!Thank you Professor!May God Bless you! =)
And Only GOD knows how I answered my polymer test.I don't wanna think bout it anymore.
Now I have to study Kinetics.The test is tomorrow!and I haven't started doing the revision yet!*knocks the head*
Tomorrow,me and my girls have to discuss for our final year project.The reactions, glassware and chemicals needed, how to synthesize certain chemical compounds, AND I have to submit it to my supervisor by this FRIDAY.SOmeone please kill me now.On Saturday morning,I will be having organic test.I never liked this subject.I never failed to get a C for every organic paper I sat for.haha.-_-
Life is stressful,isn't it?
So when can I sit back, relax and enjoy watching my favourite korean drama??O__________o
During Korean class, our lecturer asked us again who wanted to participate in the speech contest.I guess I was the only person in the class who's thinking bout it.He said 2 students from 2nd level are going to participate.He looked at me as if 'why don't you give it a try?'haha.I raised my hand asking bout it.He opened up the website and showed us the rules and regulations of the contest.It will be held on the 8th of October in UM. 80% of me wanted this, but I don't think I can speak in front of the public.I always get nervous even for small things.
I want to participate,yes I want..My parents encouraged me to join.Especially my father. It doesn't matter whether I win or not I just wanna try.But..ahhh too many buts!!I need someone to talk to..regarding this matter.
I always think,why do I have to be afraid to speak in front of people?I don't know them and they don;t know me. They are not cannibals or gods or presidents of large companies or what.They are just human beings like ME.When I do presentation,my heart rate increases,my hands freeze,my lips turn dry and my fingers can't stop shaking!and I tend to speak very fast whenever I do presentation.Not because I want to end it fast,it's just tututututtu
Just now I asked my friends bout how do I like when I present,they said my face looks cool,not like I'm nervous.But yes I speak very fast but doesn't look nervous at all! o God,they don't know how I feel inside.haha.Well thanks for the compliment?I guess XD
Maybe I'll go see my supervisor?She's the super nice lecturer in the whole wide world!^^ and tell her bout my 'problem'.Well she told us we can just go to her if we have problem.So,this is the time smurf!XD or maybe I just message her through FB.haha.How cool is that?A lecturer communicates with her student through FB.angangangXD
I panicked.I cried.I felt really down this evening all because of polymer lecture today.Only God knows how we struggled searching for the answer.Seven of us went to the lecturers' rooms.Went up and down,from this professor's room to the other and thank GOD!!Dr. Azizan was there, helped us A LOT!Thank you Professor!May God Bless you! =)
And Only GOD knows how I answered my polymer test.I don't wanna think bout it anymore.
Now I have to study Kinetics.The test is tomorrow!and I haven't started doing the revision yet!*knocks the head*
Tomorrow,me and my girls have to discuss for our final year project.The reactions, glassware and chemicals needed, how to synthesize certain chemical compounds, AND I have to submit it to my supervisor by this FRIDAY.SOmeone please kill me now.On Saturday morning,I will be having organic test.I never liked this subject.I never failed to get a C for every organic paper I sat for.haha.-_-
Life is stressful,isn't it?
So when can I sit back, relax and enjoy watching my favourite korean drama??O__________o
During Korean class, our lecturer asked us again who wanted to participate in the speech contest.I guess I was the only person in the class who's thinking bout it.He said 2 students from 2nd level are going to participate.He looked at me as if 'why don't you give it a try?'haha.I raised my hand asking bout it.He opened up the website and showed us the rules and regulations of the contest.It will be held on the 8th of October in UM. 80% of me wanted this, but I don't think I can speak in front of the public.I always get nervous even for small things.
I want to participate,yes I want..My parents encouraged me to join.Especially my father. It doesn't matter whether I win or not I just wanna try.But..ahhh too many buts!!I need someone to talk to..regarding this matter.
I always think,why do I have to be afraid to speak in front of people?I don't know them and they don;t know me. They are not cannibals or gods or presidents of large companies or what.They are just human beings like ME.When I do presentation,my heart rate increases,my hands freeze,my lips turn dry and my fingers can't stop shaking!and I tend to speak very fast whenever I do presentation.Not because I want to end it fast,it's just tututututtu
Just now I asked my friends bout how do I like when I present,they said my face looks cool,not like I'm nervous.But yes I speak very fast but doesn't look nervous at all! o God,they don't know how I feel inside.haha.Well thanks for the compliment?I guess XD
Maybe I'll go see my supervisor?She's the super nice lecturer in the whole wide world!^^ and tell her bout my 'problem'.Well she told us we can just go to her if we have problem.So,this is the time smurf!XD or maybe I just message her through FB.haha.How cool is that?A lecturer communicates with her student through FB.angangangXD
Friday, July 24, 2009
sick again
I fell sick.AGAIN.I had it last week,on thursday.Yesterday all these headache+cold+sore throat and cough came back.I went to see the doctor and he prescribed me all sorts of chemicals.haha.He told me to come back and do blood test if I still sick next week.I saw many people sick now.Even my friends,they got headache,cough,cold and high fever.All I can do now is take the pills,cough syrup as prescribed,finish up my antibiotics and rest.After went to the doctor,I had lunch and took all my 'chemical' he gave me,and went to sleep.I slept from 11am till 6pm.I feel better now.The heachache is kinda better now.But it's starting again.Well,I have taken the meds for the 2nd time now.Tonight I'm just gonna rest while watching 'My Girl' until I fall asleep =)
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I hate my life
and..again..I made ANOTHER mistake.I know I should have just completed it months ago..and just now, someone just told me to hurry do the report and he told me the problems we are facing. again.I know it's my fault.Do I have to blame myself for it?Ok, as a secretary of the club, I know I should do all reports,proposal etc.But Hello?Look what the previous seniors had done to us? I even asked them the reports etc, but some were just don't care about it. And what Zul told me about the consequence is enough to make my blood pressure hits the highest point it possibly can go. And so, I disconnect the line just to concentrate on doing the report.And now,they are all gone. I want them to see the report I have completed.Well I don't have any experience,and I want them to check it.Showed to a friend and she said my report's kinda simple and short but that's ok.She added usually people insert budget,some photos etc..and now, I just don't know what to do.Why do I have to be the secretary?Why do I even have to have a post in the club?!
I hate my life.I'll just bear with it and wait for the best thing to happen in my life.
Like..what?what?you tell me?FYI,I HATE MY LIFE, HERE!
I hate my life.I'll just bear with it and wait for the best thing to happen in my life.
Like..what?what?you tell me?FYI,I HATE MY LIFE, HERE!
Monday, July 20, 2009
new resolutions
I wanna play piano.I wanna be good at it.I really do.I know I keep giving myself lame excuses.Busy with assignments.Final year project,this and that.
Told myself, if want something,nothing can stop me.And with that, I promised myself:
> I will at least practice for 1 hour a day.
> Watch all of Lypur's tutorial videos and make sure to learn all the theory and
whatsoever from there.
> Save money so that I can buy a full length and sensitive keyboard at the end of
the semester ^^
> Listen to more music,like what has been suggested by Lina.Thanks Lina =)
> BE PATIENT
> BE HEALTHY,So that I will be able to achieve my dream XD
I feel a bit dissapointed for not starting piano when I was younger.Now, everything is kinda difficult and..
NO MORE EXCUSES!!!Well, everything happens for a reason.-_-
and I don't wanna think bout anything now.
I just wanna do what I'm suppose to do *getting my degree etc* and live life to the fullest.
And please *telling myself*, I have to be smart at handling stress. FYI, a super tiny problem is enough to make me stress.
And I am worried I will die early because of that.I have to think of happy moments, happy faces,good things!
I am not feeling well since last Thursday,and that's stressful!I gotta see doctor tomorrow.I hate my over-sensitive nose.It started making problems since the very first semester I entered Uni.
We'll see what the doctor has to say tomorrow.
Told myself, if want something,nothing can stop me.And with that, I promised myself:
> I will at least practice for 1 hour a day.
> Watch all of Lypur's tutorial videos and make sure to learn all the theory and
whatsoever from there.
> Save money so that I can buy a full length and sensitive keyboard at the end of
the semester ^^
> Listen to more music,like what has been suggested by Lina.Thanks Lina =)
> BE PATIENT
> BE HEALTHY,So that I will be able to achieve my dream XD
I feel a bit dissapointed for not starting piano when I was younger.Now, everything is kinda difficult and..
NO MORE EXCUSES!!!Well, everything happens for a reason.-_-
and I don't wanna think bout anything now.
I just wanna do what I'm suppose to do *getting my degree etc* and live life to the fullest.
And please *telling myself*, I have to be smart at handling stress. FYI, a super tiny problem is enough to make me stress.
And I am worried I will die early because of that.I have to think of happy moments, happy faces,good things!
I am not feeling well since last Thursday,and that's stressful!I gotta see doctor tomorrow.I hate my over-sensitive nose.It started making problems since the very first semester I entered Uni.
We'll see what the doctor has to say tomorrow.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Another day
I felt terrible this morning. Woke up late. Arrived as usual to work. First thing,uncle came up to me asked "are you mad at me?" and I said, "no,of course not".
Then later he asked me what did my supervisor said to me.And I just told him some of it. I am a talkative person but today I think it's the first time I felt like not to open my mouth eventhough I have so much to say. I think I need to talk less. Be less friendly. Don't talk unless it's something important. Don't go anywhere it's somewhere I need to go. Don't do things unless I need to do it. I need to act dumb. Be stupid. I'm just gonna act like a retarded after this. I'm the type of person where when you say A, I'll follow A.But at the same time, I like to take my own initiative to improve on something. But I guess I have to change all that after this. That's not how the world works. People won't stop cursing, talking,saying bad things about you till the day you die. And how much good deeds you have done, once you do something awful,all of the efforts before will be forgotten. In conclusion, I don't have to be a good person, friendly, hardworking, perfectionist etc. Just be stupid,dumb whatever you call it. And I guarantee no one will care whatever thing you do.
Went to celcom this afternoon to change my simcard. But once they checked my account, they said my number has been terminated. I got kinda upset. I like my number so much. It's very easy for everyone to memorise. To sum it all up, I hate celcom. Not just because terminating my number, but also for their terrible service on broadband. I call it celcom bullshit.The connection is friggin' slow. There's only one thing that will always be fast, on time. THE BILL.
Later after that, I went to KFC for lunch. Alone. Yeah that's me. I like to do things alone. True what uncle told me. He said I'm independent and he asked me whether I have planned to be out of my house once I've graduated?Yes, it's kinda true.LOLLL!!But not that I wanna stay in a different house from my family. I just wanna be far far away from Malaysia. I wanna have a new life somewhere else.Doing something I love and live my dreams. Yeah yeah right.
I dream too much and what I do?nothing.Just go to the celcom building and jump off..hahaha.whatever
Then later he asked me what did my supervisor said to me.And I just told him some of it. I am a talkative person but today I think it's the first time I felt like not to open my mouth eventhough I have so much to say. I think I need to talk less. Be less friendly. Don't talk unless it's something important. Don't go anywhere it's somewhere I need to go. Don't do things unless I need to do it. I need to act dumb. Be stupid. I'm just gonna act like a retarded after this. I'm the type of person where when you say A, I'll follow A.But at the same time, I like to take my own initiative to improve on something. But I guess I have to change all that after this. That's not how the world works. People won't stop cursing, talking,saying bad things about you till the day you die. And how much good deeds you have done, once you do something awful,all of the efforts before will be forgotten. In conclusion, I don't have to be a good person, friendly, hardworking, perfectionist etc. Just be stupid,dumb whatever you call it. And I guarantee no one will care whatever thing you do.
Went to celcom this afternoon to change my simcard. But once they checked my account, they said my number has been terminated. I got kinda upset. I like my number so much. It's very easy for everyone to memorise. To sum it all up, I hate celcom. Not just because terminating my number, but also for their terrible service on broadband. I call it celcom bullshit.The connection is friggin' slow. There's only one thing that will always be fast, on time. THE BILL.
Later after that, I went to KFC for lunch. Alone. Yeah that's me. I like to do things alone. True what uncle told me. He said I'm independent and he asked me whether I have planned to be out of my house once I've graduated?Yes, it's kinda true.LOLLL!!But not that I wanna stay in a different house from my family. I just wanna be far far away from Malaysia. I wanna have a new life somewhere else.Doing something I love and live my dreams. Yeah yeah right.
I dream too much and what I do?nothing.Just go to the celcom building and jump off..hahaha.whatever
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
regret
It's my 6th week of being a trainee. I never thought of being a chemist when I was small. Frankly speaking I never like to work with chemicals or in laboratory. I'm afraid it might explode or something terrible happen when I'm working in it. But why did I end up taking chemistry? If I could turn back time, I will definitely change all of these. I want to work harder for my SPM. Do well for my pre-U and take a better course. If only..If only..If only..R-E-G-R-E-T.That's all I can say. I should just forget about it. I have to finish what I started. I have 1 more year to go to obtain degree. But even though I am qualified to be a chemist after this, I will find other options and working with chemicals would be my last resort. No one in my family knows about this. My mom would kill me if she knows this because she never agreed of my course. Why why why??Why did I take chemistry? It's a long story..now, I can only continue what I am doing.Yes.
This morning, at 8am..my supervisor came and asked me about the case I'm doing. She saw the due date and said,'so when are you going to finish it?' I said 'Errr..Yes, I'm going to proceed today.I have to stripe all of the samples today'
And she just went away. She was kinda mad. But hey, it's not my fault. I am just a trainee. Everyone there is facing a BIG problem because of someone and I have to settle everything. So, if things do not meet your expectation, don't be mad,ok? I know you're under pressure, and always being pushed around by the boss, but please don't treat others as if they're rubbish. I am just a trainee and I don't deserve to say anything. I understand your problem and I don't blame you for that. I just want you to treat us fairly.
Reached home at 5.40pm and I am extremely exhausted. I need rest. -_-
This morning, at 8am..my supervisor came and asked me about the case I'm doing. She saw the due date and said,'so when are you going to finish it?' I said 'Errr..Yes, I'm going to proceed today.I have to stripe all of the samples today'
And she just went away. She was kinda mad. But hey, it's not my fault. I am just a trainee. Everyone there is facing a BIG problem because of someone and I have to settle everything. So, if things do not meet your expectation, don't be mad,ok? I know you're under pressure, and always being pushed around by the boss, but please don't treat others as if they're rubbish. I am just a trainee and I don't deserve to say anything. I understand your problem and I don't blame you for that. I just want you to treat us fairly.
Reached home at 5.40pm and I am extremely exhausted. I need rest. -_-
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