Today is the worst day ever.I never felt this bad before.It's because I had my presentation with 4 lecturers regarding my final year project.And when I was asked all sorts of questions,I couldn't answer.Even the basic ones.I can't face the lecturers now.I am feeling very embarrassed. One of the lecturers said, " I taught you for 2 semesters on coordination chemistry,but none of you can answer the Qs correctly.Is it my fault or your fault?" His words strucked me like a thunder. I admit I play a lot.I don't study.I don't revise.I have 1 semester left.Am I gonna let this happen again for the next semester?
Of course I don't want it to happen again. I have to start studying.I have to be serious.Now I'm thinking whether I should stop playing piano or not. I need to change. I don't wanna play anymore. I have to stop fooling around.
I can't stop thinking bout what happened today.I can still hear the lecturers laughing hearing my answers. I am ashamed of myself. To my friends.I just can't face the world anymore. I kept telling my friends I want to commit suicide.It's that bad.Well, we were joking bout it obviously.
Guess i need to be away from all of these enjoyable activities I have been doing ever since I started studying here. I will leave..Once I am stable and successfully forced and disciplined myself, I will come back.
So long..
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