I never knew today would be the worst day ever in my life. I'm still shaking since 4pm. I didn't know that I would drag other people into my huge problem. It started when 2 trainees came to visit our lab.They asked me and the other trainee Qs and I explained to them a bit about this and that. And later they wanted to visit the instrument lab,so, I brought them over there. After that, they wanted to see another trainee, and I was so stupid and just brought them to the other lab..As soon as we went out of the lab, I saw all trainees and went to say hi and stuff. Some of them said they wanted to see my lab. And again, I brought all of them into my lab. Then I told uncle, if possible, let them see the store where they keep the samples. And uncle brought them into the store.
In the store, 1 of the trainees told me she wanted to get out of the lab. I asked her why,and she said the ma'am in front there asked them to leave. I was scared and didn't know what to do. Then the girl who wanted to go out so badly told everyone to go out. I went out too,and not long after that my supervisor called me into her room. She scolded me why I brought them in. I explained saying that some of the trainees want to see other labs before they finish doing the practical. She said I don't have the right and need to ask for permission for that. Yes I admit. It was my fault. I didn't know that I can't let the trainees in. Even the trainees are workers of that place. So I think it is not wrong. I am sorry for bringing all of you(uncle,my supervisor and the other trainee) such trouble. And I feel stupid. I feel very very sorry to uncle because he got scolded too. My supervisor said bad things to him. Cursing me. Saying I don't have the right to do this and that.Yes I admit that and I am sorry. Very sorry because I don't know. She even said something that really hurt my feelings to uncle. Yes, you are the boss. And I am just your worker.No, I am just some stupid trainee who came to spend her 8 weeks of semester break trying to learn and get new experience there. But it turned out to be a worse one. I apologise to uncle for dragging him into this. I am so sorry.I didn't mean to do that. You were so nice to me all this while and see what I have done to you.
Before I went home, I didn't ask my supervisor for her signature. I'm scared. I'm afraid she might start scolding and cursing me in front of other people. And I know one of the chemists know that I am actually trying to run away from my supervisor and she signed my card. Thank you for being understanding.
My friend, the other trainee told me that he knows how I feel and want me to just forget whatever happened just now.Thanks.
Walking home helplessly. In my heart I was praying I'll get hit by a car or lorry from behind or from the front. I just wanna die. Or get involve in an accident. So that I'll be admitted into the hospital and don't need to go to work until training session ends. Or I should just get hit by a car and lose memory. Unfortunately, I got back home safely.
I went straight to my room as I enter the house. I usually eat something once I'm home. I don't have the appetite now.
I want to sleep.Sleep forever.
Now all I want to say is, I didn't mean to do what I have done today. I didn't know and I admit that it was my fault. I am so sorry to those who got involved into this problem. I am sorry especially to uncle. I am so sorry. I hope you don't get any high blood pressure or something. Now I'm getting headache for crying.
All I ask for is forgiveness. I am sorry. Troublesome.That's me.I know.
I know it's a sin to think of doing stupid things. But I can't stop thinking of it right now. Maybe I should just go knock my head on the wall and stop until I see blood running down from my forehead to chin.
Now, I just don't know how to face them tomorrow..
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