December 30th 2010

It's already one month since I started working!Time flies! Even though my body aches almost everyday, it seems to get used to all the muscle pain and all by now.


I need to make new resolutions for 2011!
But 1 thing for sure, I wanna make more money NOW..and thinking how to make money!
Argh!!!Money, come to mommy!!!


All the things I want such as going to Korea and to have a piano, all have been granted this year:D and oh, I manage to graduate on time too,lol*the thing that I was worried for all these while*


So, what's next?

I love my job

Yes. I like my job.
Today I worked for 13.5 hours to get around 2만원 and hell my back hurts. I drag my feet when walking home.
And yes I still love it..
Ha!Ha!

I want to see them again!

So far I have met 2 customers who are VERY nice and really APPRECIATE what my friends and I did.
The first one was a guy, I guess he's being very grateful that night that he keeps on thanking me. From the moment when I helped him with the books, to recommending a book, to helping him with the book,and until before he's out of the store..he can't stop thanking me.
I was really really happy..and yes I can recognize him if I happen to see him again^^

and today, another grateful customer came to brighten our day. We wrapped all of her books as Christmas presents and later after thanking us, she went out..and about 20 minutes later she came again, bringing us 3 of Cadbury snacks! She said, 'Thanks for your hard work!' and even handed over another snack for us to pass over to our friend who helped her yesterday!

We were like, 'oh!!my!!Thank you so much!!Merry Christmas!!Please, come again soon!!'
and we are all HAPPY.


All I need is a thank you and a wide smile from a customer, and I am satisfied :D


This morning I was not in a good mood, but I changed that by saying everything's gonna be fine, good, and just don't worry with everything that will happen..and yay!something nice happened:D


I hope this continues forever!

stop!

I think I'm really stupid.
People are running away, and I am the only one left suffering.
I should say, tell them what is my problem.
But instead, I keep quiet, doing what I'm supposed to do..
Everyone is enjoying their work, but how about me?
I am 100% sure that people are using me to be comfortable, to relax.
I should stand for myself now, now, tomorrow, now!

the ambitious me

Life is too short to have regrets..


OK, so I have so many things I WANT to do.
I have so many things to achieve, things I wanna learn before I get older.

Once I have mastered Korean for about 80%, I want to learn a new language.
I want to learn Japanese, but afraid I'll be mixed up with Korean, so maybe I should learn something like French, or Spanish or Italian..OK that's one thing..

another thing, I think I should further my studies. To have a better future in my career. I need to be higher than other people, I need to have the advantage than the others, I need to be special, so that I can sell myself.

I'm gonna need to do more research, look for scholarships, career opportunities.


I'm going to challenge myself.
I give myself ONE YEAR. One year to collect experience, one year to prepare everything before I step onto the second level.

Advice to myself is,
no turning back, life is too short to have regrets, learn when you still have the opportunity, work hard when you still have the strength, always think positive and AIM for the BEST!

소원을 말해 봐

I have so many things I want!

So attention to Mr. Santa, this is my wish list:

I want an IPOD, ipod classic is better xp
I want a new handphone, better still, a samsung or an iphone ^v^
I want money! I want my balance in the bank account to be like this by end of this year--->
RM8,899,999.99(it has to be specific, I believe)hahahaha! and I'll withdraw all of them before they disappear!
I need a pair of comfortable shoes too.
and I need get rid of the fats I have been living for the past 8 years too.x_x


But above all, MONEY is the #1 priority in the list, Mr. Santa
I have been a good girl, daughter and person all these while.
I give you a choice,you grant my wish or I'll ruin this coming christmas.hahaha*turns crazy for listening to christmas songs 12 hours a day*

Thank you Santa!
Send my regards to Rudolph :*

finally..

I have finally started doing a part time job! It has been a week, and hell my body aches especially my feet!I walk from home to the train station, more walking and standing at the shop, and same goes when I'm going home. So, basically I stand for at least 8 hours a day and get to sit down for about 3-5 seconds during work.
I purposely don't sit hoping for not being labeled as curi tulang.haha
But my shoes are all problematic! So far I have worn 3 different pair of shoes and every one of them had tortured my feet.
I seriously hate my job at first but I'm slowly getting a hold of it and started to like it. But not entirely, just a bit. Since I'm a newbie, most of the people are very helpful but there are some who accept me as a disturbance(or maybe it's just me who thinks too much about it).
And my aim here is, I hope I work here at the bookstore until the end of month and getting other job next year.
I know working is tiring, but I told myself since I'm still young and healthy, I should work really hard and earn more and more money. I wish I have the strength to do over time for like every day.hahaha*mati*

I'm back ^^

I am back~~~~sorry for not updating this blog.*sigh*

*Pictures updated after had a slow talk with my crazy phone XD*

Damn!What's wrong with my phone, I can't connect it to the my laptop-_-
I wanted to show the whole world my new nail polish.LOL
I bought at The Face Shop.hahahha.Lina 언니 has been feeding me with thefaceshop posts and I told myself to go and buy something for myself.=p

I bought the nail polish..well 2 bottles actually, 1 is brownish,very light brown,it's nice!My friend bought it too after seeing it =p but if you put many layers of it, it looks kinda like purplish. The second bottle is kinda like gold,silver,greenish^^
and there are cheap! After discount it's only RM4.13 each!hahahahaha..I WILL GO BACK TO THAT STORE!꼭!ㅋㅋ



The result of my brownish nail colour^^






And also bought a moisturizing mask sheet! It's cheap too!!Only RM4.83 after discount!The actual price was RM6.90...hahhahaha..I bought only one-_- I REPEAT..I WILL GO BACK THERE AND SHOP FOR MORE..
The sale will be until the end of next month, if I'm not mistaken.LOL
*damn my sony phone*





My Lady Gaga nail colour =p blue~~~



And..my nail colour collection so far ^^

I would like to buy more..^^ because to me..colouring my nails is one of my stress-reliever activities.하하^^p


After 3 job interviews I went so far, none of them has responded..
and like everyone said, 'it's the end of the year, so it's not the right time for companies to hire people..'
well, I believe my time is not here yet..I'll keep searching, keep correcting my resume, search for a part time job first.

I was thinking to attend NIOSH program because I think having its certificate will give me a brighter future since I have a degree in chemistry and I'll be working with chemicals etc..so, I think NIOSH cert is gonna be great.


I think I can be an MSG indicator. When I eat something that contains the so-called ajinomoto, my head will start to ache.
Oh..*knocks the head on the wall*

L.O.S.E.R

All of you criticize me when you see me doing nothing,
maybe you can't see me going back and forth babysitting the kids.
When I make a sound, all of you condemned me for saying unnecessary things.
I try to make myself noticed or heard but all I get is YOU-HAVE-NO-RIGHT-TO-SAY face.
All you see is, I do nothing, eat and sleep and not searching for a job.
And you feel mad or maybe regret for having a child like me who is lazy to find a job.

IF you don't know the truth, please don't make any assumptions.

I don't deserve to say anything or make a sound when I'm happy, when I'm frustrated, when I'm mad. I will learn to live with expressionless reactions now.

All I want to do is be away from home. Run away from everything that I have and start living my dreams without thinking of other people.
But can I do that?
I am rebellious but I am not the type you see on TV.

I have been thinking I am a useless daughter, student, or a person. I feel angry, but I don't dare to say in front of them.
I need to say nothing because everything I say will hurt people, I need to be feeling-less so I can continuously be taken for granted by these people around me.
I'm not joking when I say I feel useless, I think of that everyday because that is what people around me have been thinking of me.
I don't dare to say anything, I don't want to say 'I am angry' to them.


Now, does that make me a loser?

The first rejection

I still have a long way to go.
I just need to be a little patient.
So far, only Shell has rejected me.
I still have a few more companies to wait for. Got an e-mail that has got to do with a job that I wanted a few months ago. Maybe it's meant for me?Haha
Nevermind, I will just try and send my resume to them.
Now, I am just going to go for any opportunity that comes my way, whether I succeed or not, that's a different story.
I need to start driving again. Ah..headache!

Ah, what a dull raya it is going to be this year -_-

Money money money!

To me, money has never been a problem.
Until this day, money is always there when I need them and I never feel I am short of cash or anything..
But ever since I finished studying, I think that money is always flowing out of my wallet and I feel the urge to find a job ASAP.
Now, no, everyday, the thought of NOT having money keeps playing in my head. I can't go out if I want or if I need to. I still have some loan left in the bank but I can't just rely on that now.
I am not saying I was a big spender before. I am not a shopaholic but I do spend. Not crazily.
I had a good relationship with 'money' but now..you see what happened? >_<

I just pray for any of the companies to call me for an interview.

Money money money!Come to me!

something..

I don't know what it is..but I feel like something is coming..
near me..
something good..something that will make me happy..
something that I am waiting for..
something I am hoping for..

whoah!if it truly happens..then this is what I call 'The Law of Attraction'


^^

The Graduation Day

The day is finally here.




I believe that it is a tradition for one to receive flowers on her/his day of graduation. I was happy and couldn't stop imagining how my bouquet would look like..
I couldn't wait to meet my parents after we got out of the hall.
They called me to come to the tents where they sell flowers..I was seriously happy. I couldn't wait..But when I saw them..

EMPTY.


They were empty-handed. Mother said ' I feel like laughing, they sell fake ones..'
When I turn to look at the booths, I can still see fresh flowers right behind me but I just kept quiet. I think I don't need to tell them about it. It's not important anyway.
But frankly speaking I was kinda disappointed.
People around me were holding more than one bouquet, they even have chocolates and teddy bears.
Well without wasting more time, my parents went straight to the car and I went away looking for my friends.




After struggling with the crowd I finally meet my friends. I took like 3 pictures with my friends and one of them handed me one of her bouquets when she saw me wasn't holding any. It's pathetic. Haha. Well, it's not a BIG deal to other people I guess. I was just being too emotional. It's the only degree I have and I receive nothing unless I go for masters and phD, then I can still hope for the flowers.





Moral of the story: Don't put your hopes too high.

To sum it all up, I feel happy because I now have a degree.Yay! I feel kinda sad to leave that place too. Sad for not seeing my supervisor. She didn't attend the ceremony. I guess she was busy. I met other lecturers. And I feel pathetic for not receiving any flowers when this is the opportunity for me to be receiving one.

샬린..괜찮아..no big deal..flowers die anyway

Pre-graduation post

After 3 years of sleeping at 2am, tonight I will 'try' force myself to sleep earlier because we need to be out of the house before 7 in the morning. Tomorrow is the final day where my parents get to see their child obtain a scroll in her hands.
As the youngest child, I am happy to see my parents excited about tomorrow.

But as a future employee, I feel scared. Like, I should be proud because I am graduating from the National University of Malaysia. And I can be a chemist. Certified chemist. I keep asking myself, 'Do I feel proud obtaining a degree in chemistry?'

This is the conversation between my friend and I before our final year project's presentation:

Me: Hey, we're graduating. I feel nothing. Degree in chemistry? What the fish..?How bout you?

Friend: You know what, I feel proud getting this degree even though my result sucks.

Me: oh yeah? Why should we?It's not like we know everything about chemistry and stuff..Frankly speaking I don't think I am certified to be a chemist.-_-

Friend: You SHOULD be proud, my friend. It's not easy to get a degree in chemistry. Some more from NU. So, you should be proud of yourself!!^^

Me:ah..okay..I'll try and be proud of myself.haha


Next post:
Graduation Day

NANTA Cookin'

July 24th 2010.
I went to watch NANTA Cookin' Show in KLCC.

NANTA Cookin' is an energetic non-verbal comic musical performance combining the traditional Korean percussion performance, vigorous acrobatic movements and drama.
It was full of fun!
Some information on NANTA Cookin' show (taken from the pamphlet XD)

NANTA Cookin' made its first debut performance in Korea in October 1997. It made it's international debut in 1999 at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and received an award for best performance. Its world tour had taken it to UK, Germany, Austria, Italy, Japan, Taiwan, Singapore, the Netherlands, etc. In 2004, NANTA Cookin' made its way to New York and had a successful one-and-half year run at Broadway, making it the first Asian show to open its own off-Broadway theatre.

The ajumma sitting on my right-hand side almost jumped out of her seat but the ajusshi on my left-hand site didn't make any sound.haha

I really enjoyed it. It was my first time watching musical. It was funny. They even used some Malay words and that was one of the reasons why people laughed real hard, clapped their hands and almost jumped out of their seats (like the ajumma xD).

NANTA Cookin' 죄고다!

Believe it or not

I can't believe that I actually can't wait to go back to UKM tomorrow.
So many things need to be done tomorrow.
Months ago I can't wait to be out of that place and now I miss going back there.
I miss my friends. But hey speaking of that, I just knew like 5 of my friends have started working. Three of them are working under one roof.
I never knew job-haunting is this hard. Haha.
Well, I haven't started searching for one so I better not say anything. I will start sending out my CV after tomorrow because I haven't taken my result transcript XD
Haha. My bad -_-

Picture of the day:
This is the place where they shoot 주몽 and 바람의 나라



A few minutes ago I saw my friend's post on FB stated '~everland~'!!
I am sure she's there (yongin-si gyeonggo-do) enjoying herself. Btw, it's her turn to go to Korea. My lecturer chose 3 of my classmates this time. They get to stay in a hotel in Seoul for 3 weeks!*진짜 부럽다!*

when there a will, there IS a way

I can make it happen if I want. I have plenty of time now minus the time I need to look after the kids. I can't just sit down and do nothing. If I want things to go my way I NEED to start moving! My brain says 'I can do this' and my heart says 'I have to start now to get what I want'. I am not trying to show off or being over confident but a part of me says be positive and I can get there sooner or later.
Well, good luck to me!

Just a random picture when I was in Korea.
Picture taken in front of the hostel,going to class.
친구야 학교 가자!

This is how we should waste our time ^O^

1.)What time did you get up this morning?
~1000

2.)Diamonds or pearls?
Diamonds

3.)What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
Knight and Day

4.)What is your favorite TV show?
Desperate Housewives

5.)What did you have for breakfast?
Muffin

6.)What is your middle name?
-

7.)What is your favorite cuisine?
I love Italian ;p

8.)What foods do you dislike?
Vege:Celery,tomato

9.)What is your favorite chip flavor?
BBQ

10.)What is your favorite CD at the moment?
Old:Avril Lavigne, NSYNC, Mariah Carey, Shania Twain. New: JYP O____^

11.)What kind of vehicle do you drive?
I only did some reversing this year, my dad's car XD I hate driving,it's scary!

12.)Favorite sandwich?
Homemade

13.)What characteristics do you despise?
back stabber, unpunctual people

14.)Favorite item of clothing?
Anything loose

15.)If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go?
Europe

16.)What color is your bathroom?
White

17.)What color pants are you wearing?
Purple

18.)Where would you retire to?
here,PJ

19.)Favorite time of the day?
After dinner XD

20.)What was your most memorable birthday?
Before I started schooling because we never missed hosting birthday parties ^^

21.)Where were you born?
Ipoh

22.)What's the last thing you ate?
Ice-cream -_-

23.)If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Blue or yellow

24.)Favorite flower?
Rose

25.)What fabric detergent do you use?
-

26.)Coke or Pepsi?
These are bad

27.)Do you wish on stars?
Sometimes ^^

28.)What is your shoe size?
Depends on type of shoes,between 7 to 9

29.)Do you have any pets?
Used to have lotsa cats and hamsters..rabbits too

30.)Last person you talked to on the phone?
Dilin

31.)What did you want to be when you were little?
Pilot

32.)What are you meant to be doing now?
Sleep or watch World Cup-Final match

33.)What do you first notice about someone?
Face ^^

34.)Siblings?
Sisters and brothers. I'm the youngest

35.)What was your favorite toy as a child?
I was an outdoor kid, I liked catching butterflies, hide n seek with my cousin XD

36.)Summer or winter?
Summer

37.)Hugs or Kisses?
Hugs

38.)Chocolate or vanilla?
Vanilla

39.)Who is most likely to respond?
-

40.)Who is least likely to respond?
-

41.)Living arrangements?
With parents

42.)When was the last time you cried?
Yesterday

43.)What is under your bed?
I don't have a bed. I sleep on the mattress without bed.and I'm loving it ^^

44.)How many countries have you visited?
New Zealand, Australia and South Korea.

45.)In how many cities have you lived?
Ipoh,Taiping, Kota Bharu, Petaling Jaya

46.)Favorite movie of all time?
Spiderman, The Sound of Music, Forest Gump

47.)The current friend you have known the longest?
Tuty. Since Primary 1

48.)Full names of your potential kids?
Not full names just 2 short random names for 'my future daughters'.hahahaha

49.)Usual bedtime?
Around 2am


고마워요 리나 언니 ^^

아이디어 없어

I'm back~!
I miss surfing..wasting time in surfing and listening to music.
So many things need to be done, yet so little time.
I'll be gone again by tomorrow night.-_-




리나 언니:언니의 profile 사진 진짜 예쁘다!^^<3

Nanny McPhee

I am back!Finally.
I know I'll be missing again this monday.
Being Nanny McPhee is no fun at all.
Maybe it is for some people,but not to me.AT THE MOMENT!

Talking about books (thanks to 리나 언니 for the info :D) , I have so many books unread.
But still I wanna go for MPH members' sale.haha!:p
Ah, my friend asked me to accompany her to this bookstore. It's in amcorp mall and she said the books are cheap!
Check out the website:http://www.bookxcess.com/




*Still dreaming*

over protective

Do I have to tell you where I wanna work?
Do you have to wait for me when I say I don't wanna follow?
I'm 22 and you treat me as if I am 10 years old.
Can't you just give me some space?
I need time for myself too. When I say I wanna go out, it doesn't mean I have a bf and I'm going out with him or I'm going clubbing or something. I always go out alone if you need to know. I watch movies alone, I go buy things alone. That's me. And I love that.
I love being at home but being at home for a month without going out is making me crazy.
Yes I love being at home watching tv.
I would rather stay at home than going out with not-so-close-friends.
There's just so many things I wanna say but I don't know how to express myself and I need to go now.

Goodbye world

She, was the luckiest girl alive..but now..

She was accused of stealing and other things..
But seriously I think she's innocent.
But why did the Sultan divorced her if she's innocent in the first place,right?

I felt really sorry for her..
Everyone should stay quiet if they don't know the truth. Stop making false statements.
I am not on anyone's side.

Only God knows the truth

I am not going

Yes,
I am not going to Korea.
I have made the decision.
It was hard for me to click on the send button on fb.
I hope she reads it tomorrow.
I am sorry Professor for letting you down.

My main reason:
I don't believe in myself

Baby's broken leg.

This baby-my 12-day-old baby.. and someone just broke the bench.
God knows how mad I was just now.But I'm kinda cool now.
FYI, when my things don't go how I want it to be or something bad happens to MY THINGS I'll turned crazy. It's like the whole world just collapsed in front of my eyes.

baby is on the way

Baby is on the way!
I went to IKANO with my father this morning.
It will be delivered earliest by this Thursday.Hoho.
I will put up the photo of it and a photo of my room that my father and I have been renovating for 1 week.haha. Well we did nothing much, just painted the wall, fixed the floor.

Damn it's very hot now.

I am mad

All I wanted to do was to get to know some people and chill myself out.
and what I get was a criticism.

So, I better shut my mouth up and wait.
I won't talk to you unless you ask me something.

here here still here

I am still here.
I should be happy doing nothing at home.
This is what I have always wanted when I was in hostel,right?
So, stop whining.
I need to start searching for a job..
Or grab the offer from my lecturer..and enjoy sleeping and eating before I go..
But my heart still can't decide.
Or even if it has, maybe the offer has already gone.hah!
......

think think!

Lina unnie and Denise,
thank you for the response.
No, I am not that great, not an excellent student.
I was not born smart, I just work hard to whatever thing I want.
Seriously I am not a genius or something.
Heeeeeeee~

Regarding the offer:
My mother said it's up to me.
My father didn't say yes, he didn't say no. He just said when he was young he was offered to study in China to study Chinese but at the same time he was offered a job, so he took the job.I think he just wants me to start working.

And yesterday my supervisor didn't say anything since she was busy talking on the phone while checking my corrected thesis.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing her again to submit my thesis and I will be free!^^
Yeeha!

I want to grab that opportunity to study in Korea.
But I know it's going to be really tough.
It's Korea. People work really hard. Harder than the Malaysians of course. I heard from a senior that you can't go back before your Professor, and the Professors usually go home at late night.hahahahaha.Ok well, it's not about going home early or what, it's about me whether I can take it or not.
Plus, if I go there, I'll be doing chemistry as well. It's going to be very hard.
I am half way to crazy even when doing my degree, then how about a higher level in chemistry?haha
I don't think I deserve this.

But if I really going to work extra hard and be strong and be independent enough to go there and study chemistry, then that will be good.

If I have another friend going with me then I think that's better.

I told my sister about it and she said 'I bet if the offer is about mastering korean language, i am sure you'll take it'
Yes, she is 100% correct.I am interested to learn and improve more on my Korean.If I have the chance to go there to study Korean, I will definitely grab that chance.

Lina언니 and Denise, I wanted to chat with all of you,but I couldn't sign in using my msn.

-_-

Life is like a dream now

So many good things happened lately.
I am lucky.
On saturday, when I almost turned crazy preparing for my presentation, an old friend called and invited me to her party.I had the chance to meet my old friends, we laughed, great food and we had a great time together.

On Monday, presentation was scary, but I managed to pull it off well I guess. There were questions where I can answer and there were questions where I couldn't give an answer and I just said 'Professor, I don't know'.haha.His answer was:'Ok,at least u say u don't know. I like honest people.'Then he started explaining.Ok. I was really happy at that moment.Overall, the presentation was not bad.

Monday, that night..we 6 of us including my Professor@supervisor had dinner at the San Francisco's. We had a wonderful time!We gossiped,we laughed,we stalked!
We were talking about traveling and my supervisor asked me:
SV:have u been to Japan?
S:no, but i have been to Korea.haha
SV:which part?
S:Gwangju.
SV:oh!Gwangju?!u went to GIST?
S:no no.I went to HU.Had a camp.Language camp..oh yeah gwangju.GIST,prof Kim right?
SV:yes!and...S, do want to do masters in Korea?at GIST..Prof Kim asked me to send a student..
S:err..study there?wow!ohhh!wow!
Student 1:oh!!korea!
Student 2:omg!go!go!go there!grab the chance.it doesn't come everyday.
Student 3:wowww..bestnya..
Student 4:....
Sv:ha..so?u want it?I can write him an email.I can write to him a recommendation letter for u.I am sure u can get it if I do that.
S:er..well..I have to think about it first..
SV:ala...just go for it..they have a realllly nice lab!i wish I can go work over there. They will pay for everything except for your plane ticket.I am sure your parents can afford that.
S:aha..since I already have the basic knowledge in Korean language..maybe..
SV:oh don't worry!everything is being conducted in English!You can find many foreigners there..ok..so..?
S:ah..i don't think i want to do masters..i..i..i need to discuss with my parents first..
SV:okay..tell your parents about it..
S:yes yes..I will..

On Tuesday, we had a meeting again in my sv's room.She told us to correct our thesis,and suddenly praising me for my thesis..asking everyone to do their thesis like mine..telling me I did a good job.*kinda scared of other students actually* I told myself.."am i dreaming?'O____o and at the end of the conversation she asked me..
SV:have you told your parents?
S:ah..yes..I have told my mum..
SV:so, what did she say?
S:she asked me when I have done with my studies,when I return back to Malaysia,what shall I work as?where shall I work at?haha
SV:work at the embassy.:)

I don't know whether she's joking or not. I couldn't tell.
Well in fact, working in Malaysian Embassy in Korea is one of my targets.haha XD

Now, I am home!!:)But I will go back to ukm to meet again with my sv to show her my corrected version thesis.I hope she won't ask me again about 'it'.

At home later..
Dad:try and search casio on ebay..
S:i want this one*showing him Kurzweil*But I can't find any in Malaysia.*Searched for casio model cdp 200 and showed dad*Or this one is okay.I have read the reviews on it.I saw this keyboard in midvalley.But we go try and search in tropicana first..It's around 2800..
Dad:ok..when your thesis is done, we go and buy it.
S: :)

OK.I feel kinda weird when everything good happened everyday.XD I am happy!
I feel like I am dreaming.
XD

exam's over!yeeeha!

Yay!Exam's over!
But I still have to prepare for the presentation and pack all my stuff.
and need to face some problems regarding the hostel.
errrrr...
Oh yeah!I'll be buying my dream keyboard like in 2 weeks time!yay!!cheers!yeay!
yeay! yeay!yeay!yeay!

I only think of my keyboard. When I'm stressed or feeling down, when I think of my keyboard @ music, I automatically turn happy!xD

crazy crazyyyy~

There's just SO many things I NEED to think of right now!
I THINK I am going CRAZY!
crazy crazy crazy
heeeeeee~

Happy birthday to me

So it's 0003 midnight here in Malaysia, it's April 26th today. And my birthday just passed 3 minutes ago. I didn't get the chance to blow a candle for the 3rd time in a row. I hate life at the moment. Tomorrow I'll be having another exam.
I should have gone somewhere to celebrate my birthday. I don't mind celebrating alone as long as I don't have to study for this **** paper!

I am not happy at the moment. Why?
Because I am not able to do things I want at the moment. Like when people ask,'oh, how was your birthday celebration yest?' My answer would be: 'It was fantastic!'
'yeah?what did you do?'
'ah,I just stayed in my room and did some revision for today's exam ^^'

시간 빨리 가!싫어 싫어!

I know it is not a big deal, there are millions of people out there who don't even celebrate their birthdays, but I just hate this. I hate the fact that I NEED TO STUDY FOR EXAM ON MY BIRTHDAY.

Ok I should stop whining.
Just go and buy a slice of cake tomorrow.haha
To my sister,happy belated birthday to you:)사랑해 언니!건강하고 행복하세요!

I still can't believe that we have the same birth date. I think I'm the twin sister who stuck in mama's womb for 5 years.XD

2010년 5월 3일

I felt really miserable this morning. My senior informed me that I will be presenting my project on the 3rd of May at 1040am. From the moment I read the message, I was kinda like turn to crazy.Almost. Seriously. I hate this.
I should be studying for my korean exam but the thought of presentation keeps playing in my head.

So far, my korean exam(UKM's paper) today was the hardest. Well, it's level 4 of Korean. What can I say. I did the essay terribly.
Haha.I know. But I submitted the paper 15 minutes before the time's up.
Outside of the exam hall, 선생님 was talking to someone. I was going to bow to him but he didn't look at me. So while I was walking towards my bag, he called my name.
He asked me about the email,about the club,part time job etc. He spoke Malay! Haha.For the whole conversation. *Sounded cute*XD

I was happy talking to him that I totally forgot about the damn presentation.
I walked back to hostel happily and even did Paula Abdul's exercise because my mood was too good.XD

So, now I need to study for this Friday's exam. I have tonnes of notes to be read -_-
And I have so many things to do after I have finished all of these.
I want to learn piano, learn to play new songs, read novels, start knitting, improve on my English and Korean, and lose weight!*List goes on*

한국에게서 선물 ^^

When my father told me a parcel for me from Korea arrived yesterday, I rushed back home.
I was eager to open it.I was so depressed and lonely and sad and emotionally unstable in my room,so I thought I should go home and open the present.. It's a birthday present for me from my 언니 ^^
I thought it was going to arrive end of this week which is nearer to my birthday. But it turned out to be yesterday!6days before my birthday. When I sent the presents to Korea, it took exactly 1 week to reach 언니의 house. So here we can see the difference between Malaysia and Korea. 7 vs 3 days XD

어째든 나는 너무 기뻤어요! 해순 언니 진짜 고마워요!
선물이 정말 예쁘고 귀여워요!^^ I will wear them well!:)
생일 카드도 있어!마음이 정말 기뻐!:)

해순 언니,정말 고맙고 언니와 가족이 건강하세요!
We will meet one day :)

바보 같아

Oh I feel stupid.
I am mad..at the moment.
I woke up late in the first place.
Getting ready for an outing to buy some groceries.
I waited at 10am at the bus stop. I told myself 'I know the bus is gonna be here at 1030am'.
Yeap, it showed up at 1030,but..I missed the bus.
There were 3 damn buses at 1 time and I couldn't see that stupid rapid coming and at that time I was messaging someone.
Right after what happened I went back to my room, cancel everything!
I am mad..still am..
바보 같아

The moral of the story: DO NOT PLAY WITH THE DAMN PHONE WHEN WAITING FOR THE STUPID BUS.

TOPIK II

I think I sat for French exam instead of Korean XD
99% of words I saw were totally new plus with the super duper complicated grammar. I managed to answer 60 questions in 20 minutes?hah!You guess how I did it?ngeee~

The essay part, thank god I understand what they want.
And I just scribbled down whatever that came to my mind.

On the way back, I helped some 동생. They asked me where they can find taxi. And we talked along the journey XD. I spoke Korean and he spoke English.hahaXD


Breakfast:Hot choc and tonnes of crackersXD
Lunch: Choco pie (got from the exam place)
Dinner: Oats and raisins

I didn't exercise today -_-

TOPIK

I have TOPIK tomorrow!
I'll be taking the intermediate level and like what my lecturer said, no Malaysians have passed this,unless you keep studying and keep trying..For me, I think I'll pass when I sit for my 8th trial XD
And with that, I will just try my best tomorrow and if I fail, I don't mind anyway.hoho

Oh, for branch I ate a bowl of oats with raisins and an apple.
Lunch: just 1 cracker.I feel like dying.
Tea: Apple, some crackers
Dinner: 1 slice of whole grained bread and apple again.
And I did Paula Abdul's workout for 50 minutes. I thought I was gonna die. I haven't done this since September?

I wish tomorrow will be a better day for me..

and I can't wait for the exam to end!!-_-
시간..빨리 가! 견딜 수가 없어!ㅠㅠ

Diet starts tomorrow!

I swear I am going to start all these diet thingy tomorrow.
I aim to lose 2kg per week. I will start doing that Paula Abdul workout if I don't want to go for that 8km walk at the stadium everyday.
I will have a glass of milk and a bowl of oats with an apple or raisins for every breakfast. I know milk is fattening. But I need to look after my bones too okay ^^

Lunch, more fruits and some crackers.

Dinner, fruits and some crackers or just hot milo.

How does it feel to faint?I have never experienced one.
I would like to someday.
haha
*crazy*

TQ Professor I

When a Professor sends a message to his students, he wants us to know that he cares for his students...

I need to study harder!!
-_-
I am touched with his words..

I..

I am telling the world that,
I want to vomit.
I need to do revision until I am satisfied and then sleep.
I am waiting for an e-mail.
I am missing someone.
I am upset.

-_----

I can't wait to stay at home and just play the keyboard.
Exam please move faster!

making friends

Everything that happened yesterday kept replaying in my head.
Well I am happy to have met those two people.
Hope we can be friends!
*too nice to have asked me all sorts of Qs!*
*too nice to go search for me and give the name card!*
Thank you. I really appreciate your kindness ^^

diet diet

I am desperately need to lose weight!
Desperate.
Desperate..
Desperate!!
For my sister's wedding.
And I shall not eat and start exercising starting..Tomorrow!
Eat only...oats!and fruits!

Thesis done!

33% of my problem ends today.
The rest continues after exam!
I have submitted my thesis to the office!Yay and the scary part has yet to come -_-

argh!

Dear World,
I may not sleep til tomorrow morning as long as I manage to submit this damn thesis to the office!
I need to get it done by tomorrow!!
I will make sure I submit it by tomorrow!!!!!

Be strong!!!

It's 1221am and we just finished discussing for presentation tomorrow.
I better off to complete my thesis.
Happy working~

*thinking of only happy things*

o god..

I am panicked!
Only God knows my feelings now.
I swear I'm gonna go for a vacation after finish all these &^%$#!

Once upon a dream..

Slept at late evening, I had a really wonderful dream!
I met someone I don't know and it felt good. Seriously, I've never felt this good after having a deep sleep in the evening.
I will remember the 'dream'.
Oh! I am happy..
*now off to write my thesis*

I want to go to Korea again..

I miss this view.


I miss going to Korea.
I want to go to Korea, again.
I want to go to Korea in October.Why October?
I just randomly picked the month XD
Looking back at the pictures, I miss Korea!
Even when I'm there people will be looking at me like I'm an alien.
It is uncomfortable. But this time I want to go as a ********.
Haha!
Seriously I have had all these pictures..
Well, I want to go to Korea, again!
I know I will go there in this coming October!^^)

Oh!

Yesterday's Korean class was really awesome.
I managed to make 10 sentences correctly at 1 picture during the oral test.
Hah!
I am not showing off, but I think I didn't practise and the picture that I imagined for 2 weeks came out.
I got that picture.
So what more can you say about LOA?XD

Life had been really stressful lately.
I am at the critical time of my life.
I hope I have the strength to carry on..

To my dear cousin

I am sorry.
Sorry to my dear cousin.
I didn't reply her messages properly.
I am doing my thesis until I couldn't find a time for myself.
The submission date was today but I still haven't completed it.
Only God knows how it feels.

I am sorry again.
-.-

Just think things I want to do later ^^

Things I want to do straight after I have finished viva!:

1.sleep for 1 day straight.
2.exercise.
3.eat healthy
4.lose weight!
5.buy a keyboard
6.learn to play songs I want.
7.******* *****(This one should be firstXD)
8.Go Dubai, UK and Korea, again XD
9.Watch more Korean and Japanese dramas
10.Go watch movie.Movie marathon

I wonder who read my blog?
When I saw the number I was like..huh?
Who actually read my blog?
It's okay, I don't mind ^^

.......

Today is
Hari Mesin Basuh Rosak Sedunia!

............................

It's 4am.
Getting a degree is ______
*tingtong*
-_-

Stay positive!

Stay positive!

I know I can get my ligand and my complexes by end of this week.
I know I will finish writing my thesis end of next week.
I know I will have a lot of money after I finish studying.
I know I will find my dream keyboard.
I know I can go to UK with my friend next year!
I know everything will go smoothly this time.
I know I am smart.
I know it!
^^

The Secret

I bought a pen few weeks back.
Last week,I realized that one of them went missing.
I couldn't think where to find it..I kept on wondering where it'd go..
I was really being positive this week and while was back to faculty after my Korean class, I told myself.." I know I can find my pen back after this.."
About 10 minutes later, while I was trying to grab my phone from the bag, I felt something, like a pen from the pocket of my handbag..
Tada!there is was!

It works!
There is NO reason for me not to believe in 'it' anymore ^^

From now on, I will always think positive..every single day ^^ and always be grateful for what I have..=)

A week in Korea

I will TRY and UPDATE this when I have time..^^
Just some random pictures

good

This week has been very hectic.
But at the end of the day, I think everything went smoothly.
I am happy ^^

I don't know!

I'm too stupid or the subject's too hard?

cuti cuti

CNY is on Sunday.
I will be going home either this Friday ( Jan 13 ) or next Friday (Jan 20th). I will be having a 1-week holiday because of the mid-semester break.
I need to be at home on the 21st. The laboratory might be reopened on Wednesday(Jan 17th). If I get back home this Friday, I can stay/play at home until 16th. But if I stay at the college and then go back home on the 20th, do you think I will do my work on during the CNY holidays on Sunday until Tuesday? I don't think I would XD.
But if I get back this Friday, I need to go back again since I have a plan with my sisters on Sunday the 21st.

So?
My plan was just go home this Friday since I haven't gone home for almost a month now although my house is like 1 hour from here(keeps comparing with people who go back home every week).
Then go back to hostel on Tuesday, and on Friday, go back home. haha

I don't care. But what for I stay here during CNY? I should go enjoy myself. DOn't you think so?
But, I need to study too. All of the mid-term tests will be after CNY break. Oh another headache -_-

I will never know how to solve my problems.. Maybe this is why I have so much trouble.

.

When you can't eat when you're stressed, you feel like knocking your head hard onto the wall. I was thinking of doing it now.

stop stop

Stop feeling stress!
OK,I will try.

Feb 6,2010

O.I feel like fainting.
I have a 3-page tutorial needs to be completed.
More journals to find and read.
And write 40 pages thesis and submit to my supervisor at the end of this week.

Ok,I better go knock my head on the wall.

Be strong!

Things I need to focus on at the moment:

1.Writing for my thesis.*It your project, so it's your responsibility*~교수님
2.Study Korean and make sure to PASS TOPIK intermediate level.*sounds impossible*well,it is..
'I know you will fail'~류선생님
3.Try hard not to kill myself.


February 5th 2010:
My friend and I were interviewed by Hanna Press during our visit to KP.
My Korean was a total rubbish. I am sorry. I have tried my best.

~Life is depressing.
I can't live a day without headache. I am not joking. Everyday I'll get headache without fail.I don't have much time. I will die soon.

샬린아..많이 공부해!

I study Korean more than my major subjects.
I need to study more of my major subjects!
But other subjects are not as appealing as Korean XD

한국어로 말을 하고 싶어서 한국 학생을 찾고 있어.
날마다 한국말을 하지 않으면 한국말을 잘 할 수 없어요. 맞지? ^^
얼마 전에 저희 대학교에 한국 학생이 많이 왔지만 못 찾겠어. -_-
근데, 그 학생들은 한국으로 돌아갔어!

인생은..정말 슬프지..

이번 금요일에 선생님과 학생들은 함께 코리아 플라자에 다시 갈 거예요!
그 곳에 한국어로 많이 할 거야! 한국 사람 만나고 알게 되고 싶어!


형근 오빠: 샬린아..말레이시아에서 한국어 많이 공부해!

화학 싫어!진짜 싫어!

SHIT.Why did I take chemistry?SHIT again.
I just wanna swear right now.
I get headache everyday without fail because of stress.ARGH!!

Problems:
1.NOT MUCH TIME LEFT
2.HAVEN'T GOT THE LIGAND
3.NO LIGAND = NO COMPLEX
4.IF LIGAND OBTAINED, MELTING POINT IS TOO HIGH.(THIS IS MY 4TH ATTEMPT)
5.MELTING POINT TOO HIGH = MUST DO PURIFICATION
6.WHEN DO PURIFICATION = MY LIGANDS ARE ALL GONE!
7.IT'S HAPPENING TO ME RIGHT NOW
8.NO RIGHT MELTING POINT = NO SENDING FOR ANALYSIS
9.NO ANALYSIS = NO RESULTS
10.NO RESULTS = INCOMPLETE FINAL YEAR PROJECT
11.INCOMPLETE FINAL YEAR PROJECT = EXTEND
12.EXTEND = COMMIT SUICIDE


What is happening to me?
WIth killer subjects this semester.
Oh I am so gonna commit suicide.


아!실어!미워!
다시 울고 싶어 -_-

blabla

This may be the 100th post about what I am goin to say..

I have made some thinking..
I have been feeling useless and terrible..feeling like commiting suicide etc.
But when I think back, I need to only to go through this hell for only until May.
I tell myself I can get through this.It is not going to be easy.
But I need to.I need to be strong.
Shalyn, just bear for about 3 months.Then I'll be free.
That time I will do whatever thing I 'need' to do to get where I want to be in life.
At the moment, I need to just focus on my studies.
Yes.
I will not be defeated this time!
I know I can do it!

another..

My friend went home today.Before she went off she said 'I'm going crazy by staying here!' and I couldn't agree more.

Today..I had a great shock.
Watching PhD students presenting and being attacked by my supervisor has made me realize.It is not going to be easy.

And I shall kill myself..

p/s I have a plan if I meet them..but until today I couldn't find them.
I need friends. Where are all these people? Where did they go?
Agin, I am all alone..here

L-O-N-E-L-Y

What do you do when you feel lonely?

I will call my family..
But if I don't feel like it..
I will go find my friends..
But if they're not there..
I will go out to the cafe and buy ice-creams..
That's what I did..
I ate two cornettos..
But nothing changed..
What should I do?
Oh god!
Loneliness is killing me -_-
I better kill myself!

Happy!

I am very happy tonight.
Why?

My Korean teacher in Korea replied my email just now..
The oppa who looked after us replied my email just now..
My so called Korean friend who's working in Korea also replied my email!

haha!My inbox is busy with emails from Korea now XD
LOL.

All koreans are thinking of me tonight.haha.
자증나??
정말 기뻐!!^^

Listen..

Dear world,

I feel empty.
I miss playing keyboard.
I miss him.
I have so much work to be done.
I have no one.
No one beside me..
And I am going crazy...

Why must I like someone whom I know will never be mine?I don't like him, I love him.

i am sorry..

He entered the classroom.He sat in front of us.Looking at me,he said..

"You disappoint me.You didn't keep your promise."

"Shalyn,you don't have a chance now.You've been there."

These words shouldn't be giving me any hard feelings but why do I feel like I'm guilty?
I am guilty for not keeping my promise. And I did apologize.
But bout I don't have a chance?I shouldn't be feeling sad or mad or frustrated because I have been there.But the way he said it makes me upset.Plus 'you dissapoint me' is still playing in my head.

Teacher,I am very sorry if I disappoint you. I didn't know that my actions has made you mad. I am very sorry. We were busy there. We had no laptops. No computers for us to use unless we borrow someone else's. I am sorry for not keeping my promise.

I am back

I am back from Korea, but I am super tired at the moment.So please give me time.
Thank you

Oh, world,I fell for someone.A prohibited love story I would say.

it really hurts

First of all,I am grateful of the arrival of chemicals needed for the project.This is considered late but better than never,right?

Starting last weekend until today, I tend to get mild headache. Am I sick? Or I'm just stressed. I know I think too much these days. Final year project and trip to Korea. Seriously I can feel at the back of my head hurts. Or maybe I have tumor or something?CHoi!!

Ok so I assume I think too much until my head hurts. Everyday. And at night I feel like vomiting. This started last weekend too.Until yesterday. Am I ok? Am I sick? Am I gonna be ok?
At the moment I am thinking bout my project,enough time,not enough time, my flights.I hope the heavy snow in Korea will be okay by this Friday and also when I'm coming back to Malaysia.Please God, help me. I would do anything for the smooth journey.
I am emotionally unstable now.I am worried.
Who would listen to my worries?

My head hurts.I feel like it's going to burst in any minute now.
It hurts..really

Jan 6th 2010

I just need an opportunity when the right time comes

Happy new year 2010~!

First of all,happy new year everyone!New year's resolution,lose weight lose weight and lose weight!and make sure I graduate this year.haha

I am running out of time.I need to finish reading all the journals and at least complete 1 chapter to be sent to my supervisor.I have 4 days left and yes I am turning crazy.Sometimes I think I could just commit suicide but my life is more precious and why should I feel stressed over something that everyone has to go through?

This year I need to make sure I achieve what I WANT TO DO, which is..only known by my cousin.haha!
and this 'thing' is making me crazy too.
I keet thinking to slap on the face whenever I think about 'it',so that I'll just forget bout my dream..but my will and passion towards it will never vanish.Is this a sign from God?He wants me to go for it?I want to work hard to get it.But at the same time,I don't want to ruin my life.I keep praying asking him can I go for this dream?If yes,please give me strength and will to carry on.If not, please make me totally forget about it and let me have a better life.

Life is too depressing because I keep thinking and wanting things that are tooooo impossible.Anyhow,I will always remember Adidas's tagline~impossible is nothing.

When I get to achieve my dream,I'll let you know bout it =)