All of you criticize me when you see me doing nothing,
maybe you can't see me going back and forth babysitting the kids.
When I make a sound, all of you condemned me for saying unnecessary things.
I try to make myself noticed or heard but all I get is YOU-HAVE-NO-RIGHT-TO-SAY face.
All you see is, I do nothing, eat and sleep and not searching for a job.
And you feel mad or maybe regret for having a child like me who is lazy to find a job.
IF you don't know the truth, please don't make any assumptions.
I don't deserve to say anything or make a sound when I'm happy, when I'm frustrated, when I'm mad. I will learn to live with expressionless reactions now.
All I want to do is be away from home. Run away from everything that I have and start living my dreams without thinking of other people.
But can I do that?
I am rebellious but I am not the type you see on TV.
I have been thinking I am a useless daughter, student, or a person. I feel angry, but I don't dare to say in front of them.
I need to say nothing because everything I say will hurt people, I need to be feeling-less so I can continuously be taken for granted by these people around me.
I'm not joking when I say I feel useless, I think of that everyday because that is what people around me have been thinking of me.
I don't dare to say anything, I don't want to say 'I am angry' to them.
Now, does that make me a loser?
think about what you really really want to do, even if it means going abroad as a student exchange for a year. I realize that if we are dead set and determined to do something, our parents can't exactly stop us.
ReplyDeleteare you 21 yet? if you are, then just make the decision that you want and go for it. parents must be supportive.
if you need help, let me know. I can ask KTO if they have exchange programs to Korea or not. ^^
-Lina-
hi 언니.
ReplyDeletethanks for reading ^^
I'm 22 this year.Yeah I have thought about maybe going to Korea to just study Korean on Korean Gov Scholar or something.Aha, maybe I should try and ask KTO too^^Thanks for the idea.haha
I'm having a prob with my father and sister, they keep saying things like, "find a job!", "talking about buying a house, you didn't even find a job!" .Oh, that hurts.What they see is I sleep,eat..and me taking care of that small kid?I think they didn't realize that it's me who's doing all the hard work!
you know what...I think you just need to sit down, and think of what you really want to do right now. If going to Korea to study Korean as an exchange student is what you want to do, then go ahead. Better if you're on scholarship, coz that will mean your family would not need to worry about finances.
ReplyDeleteI made up my mind to go to Tasmania to study just so that I could be 'released' from my dad's over-protectiveness. It really changed my perspective about myself and painted a bigger picture for me as the world has so much more to offer.
Considered as an adult, just think it through what you really want. When you're certain about it and have made the correct planning and researched about it, technically, all they can do is give you their support. And if that also they can't do, then you still have mine. ^^
Good Luck!
-Lina-
thanks for the courage unnie!I will try and think properly,and I will consult you!^^
ReplyDelete