blabla

This may be the 100th post about what I am goin to say..

I have made some thinking..
I have been feeling useless and terrible..feeling like commiting suicide etc.
But when I think back, I need to only to go through this hell for only until May.
I tell myself I can get through this.It is not going to be easy.
But I need to.I need to be strong.
Shalyn, just bear for about 3 months.Then I'll be free.
That time I will do whatever thing I 'need' to do to get where I want to be in life.
At the moment, I need to just focus on my studies.
Yes.
I will not be defeated this time!
I know I can do it!

another..

My friend went home today.Before she went off she said 'I'm going crazy by staying here!' and I couldn't agree more.

Today..I had a great shock.
Watching PhD students presenting and being attacked by my supervisor has made me realize.It is not going to be easy.

And I shall kill myself..

p/s I have a plan if I meet them..but until today I couldn't find them.
I need friends. Where are all these people? Where did they go?
Agin, I am all alone..here

L-O-N-E-L-Y

What do you do when you feel lonely?

I will call my family..
But if I don't feel like it..
I will go find my friends..
But if they're not there..
I will go out to the cafe and buy ice-creams..
That's what I did..
I ate two cornettos..
But nothing changed..
What should I do?
Oh god!
Loneliness is killing me -_-
I better kill myself!

Happy!

I am very happy tonight.
Why?

My Korean teacher in Korea replied my email just now..
The oppa who looked after us replied my email just now..
My so called Korean friend who's working in Korea also replied my email!

haha!My inbox is busy with emails from Korea now XD
LOL.

All koreans are thinking of me tonight.haha.
자증나??
정말 기뻐!!^^

Listen..

Dear world,

I feel empty.
I miss playing keyboard.
I miss him.
I have so much work to be done.
I have no one.
No one beside me..
And I am going crazy...

Why must I like someone whom I know will never be mine?I don't like him, I love him.

i am sorry..

He entered the classroom.He sat in front of us.Looking at me,he said..

"You disappoint me.You didn't keep your promise."

"Shalyn,you don't have a chance now.You've been there."

These words shouldn't be giving me any hard feelings but why do I feel like I'm guilty?
I am guilty for not keeping my promise. And I did apologize.
But bout I don't have a chance?I shouldn't be feeling sad or mad or frustrated because I have been there.But the way he said it makes me upset.Plus 'you dissapoint me' is still playing in my head.

Teacher,I am very sorry if I disappoint you. I didn't know that my actions has made you mad. I am very sorry. We were busy there. We had no laptops. No computers for us to use unless we borrow someone else's. I am sorry for not keeping my promise.

I am back

I am back from Korea, but I am super tired at the moment.So please give me time.
Thank you

Oh, world,I fell for someone.A prohibited love story I would say.

it really hurts

First of all,I am grateful of the arrival of chemicals needed for the project.This is considered late but better than never,right?

Starting last weekend until today, I tend to get mild headache. Am I sick? Or I'm just stressed. I know I think too much these days. Final year project and trip to Korea. Seriously I can feel at the back of my head hurts. Or maybe I have tumor or something?CHoi!!

Ok so I assume I think too much until my head hurts. Everyday. And at night I feel like vomiting. This started last weekend too.Until yesterday. Am I ok? Am I sick? Am I gonna be ok?
At the moment I am thinking bout my project,enough time,not enough time, my flights.I hope the heavy snow in Korea will be okay by this Friday and also when I'm coming back to Malaysia.Please God, help me. I would do anything for the smooth journey.
I am emotionally unstable now.I am worried.
Who would listen to my worries?

My head hurts.I feel like it's going to burst in any minute now.
It hurts..really

Jan 6th 2010

I just need an opportunity when the right time comes

Happy new year 2010~!

First of all,happy new year everyone!New year's resolution,lose weight lose weight and lose weight!and make sure I graduate this year.haha

I am running out of time.I need to finish reading all the journals and at least complete 1 chapter to be sent to my supervisor.I have 4 days left and yes I am turning crazy.Sometimes I think I could just commit suicide but my life is more precious and why should I feel stressed over something that everyone has to go through?

This year I need to make sure I achieve what I WANT TO DO, which is..only known by my cousin.haha!
and this 'thing' is making me crazy too.
I keet thinking to slap on the face whenever I think about 'it',so that I'll just forget bout my dream..but my will and passion towards it will never vanish.Is this a sign from God?He wants me to go for it?I want to work hard to get it.But at the same time,I don't want to ruin my life.I keep praying asking him can I go for this dream?If yes,please give me strength and will to carry on.If not, please make me totally forget about it and let me have a better life.

Life is too depressing because I keep thinking and wanting things that are tooooo impossible.Anyhow,I will always remember Adidas's tagline~impossible is nothing.

When I get to achieve my dream,I'll let you know bout it =)