study study!

Exam will start on Wednesday.So how much have I studied?Well, actually I don't know what I studied.I am starting to give up.I haven't started anything and now I wanna give up?What is wrong with me.I can't be like this.I have to be strong.Study study study.I need to focus.I have to try no matter what happens.
My mood is like a roller coaster.1 minute before I was extremely happy,and a minute later,I'll be like..sht i hate life.Then,I'll be fine again.Hormone hormone.Well all I can do now is..stop fooling around and start studying!

Final!

I'm gonna start doing things I should be doing for the past few days.I will try not to give up.I will try to be strong. and I don't want to fool around.And I'm not gonna listen to negative things people say to me.I AM NOT GOING TO LISTEN AND FOLLOW!
I'm gonna do whatever thing I know is right for me and I will go strive for what I want in life.

I wanna go home

I wanna go home..I wanna go home..I miss home.I miss everyone at home.I wanna go home.

sick again and again

I fall sick again.For the 4th time for this semester.I'm having sore throat, flu, headache.I have night class for 3 days straight starting tonight and I have 2 assignments to complete..God,please give me strength to face all of these..

I will leave

Dear diary,

I said I won't be writing here for maybe a long time. But something just happened and I need to expressed how sad I am at the moment.

I know I am not an important person..I know I mean nothing to all of you..
I thought I am 1 of you..We used to be very close and always together.
But now I know,whatever I thought before was all wrong. I am not your close friend..anymore.No..We are not, even when were very close that time.

I think I should just stay away from all of you since my presence is not favourable to all of you.
I thought of inviting you to do revision together since the finals is just around the corner. But now, I don't think it's going to work anymore. I am nothing. Not you friend anymore. I know where I stand. I don't deserve to be friends with all of you.

From now on,I will try my best to avoid all of you. I don't wanna ruin your day. I will leave..

worst day ever

Today is the worst day ever.I never felt this bad before.It's because I had my presentation with 4 lecturers regarding my final year project.And when I was asked all sorts of questions,I couldn't answer.Even the basic ones.I can't face the lecturers now.I am feeling very embarrassed. One of the lecturers said, " I taught you for 2 semesters on coordination chemistry,but none of you can answer the Qs correctly.Is it my fault or your fault?" His words strucked me like a thunder. I admit I play a lot.I don't study.I don't revise.I have 1 semester left.Am I gonna let this happen again for the next semester?

Of course I don't want it to happen again. I have to start studying.I have to be serious.Now I'm thinking whether I should stop playing piano or not. I need to change. I don't wanna play anymore. I have to stop fooling around.
I can't stop thinking bout what happened today.I can still hear the lecturers laughing hearing my answers. I am ashamed of myself. To my friends.I just can't face the world anymore. I kept telling my friends I want to commit suicide.It's that bad.Well, we were joking bout it obviously.

Guess i need to be away from all of these enjoyable activities I have been doing ever since I started studying here. I will leave..Once I am stable and successfully forced and disciplined myself, I will come back.

So long..

I love my life <3

I think I am feeling less stressful now cause I have a rough idea on what to read for the presentation this monday.But what is bothering me is the time.I wish I can stop the time.Now I have to study for this Sunday's exam.I haven't studied a thing so yes it is stressful.Me and stress can't live apart.We can't live without each other.We are meant to be together.We can be best friends.But if 'stress' is my bestfriend..i would hate her..a friend who tend to make me ungrateful..hatred has grown in me towards my bestfriend..
to me..life is good when:
1.I get to do whatever I want whenever I want *play piano,watch tv...not like vandalisme or something XD
2.Be able to make other people happy.
3.Stress free
4.Get things I dreamt of
5.Live in goooooood health

But life isn't perfect.*This is what happens when I am not grateful.
Again, I need to tell myself to be grateful to God.Yes, I want to be grateful.Life is great.I love people around me.I love doing what I'm doing now.And I believe I can achieve whatever thing I want in life if I think positive and work towards it full-heartedly!
REMEMBER:The only place where dreams are IMPOSSIBLE is in your own MIND!