L.O.S.E.R

All of you criticize me when you see me doing nothing,
maybe you can't see me going back and forth babysitting the kids.
When I make a sound, all of you condemned me for saying unnecessary things.
I try to make myself noticed or heard but all I get is YOU-HAVE-NO-RIGHT-TO-SAY face.
All you see is, I do nothing, eat and sleep and not searching for a job.
And you feel mad or maybe regret for having a child like me who is lazy to find a job.

IF you don't know the truth, please don't make any assumptions.

I don't deserve to say anything or make a sound when I'm happy, when I'm frustrated, when I'm mad. I will learn to live with expressionless reactions now.

All I want to do is be away from home. Run away from everything that I have and start living my dreams without thinking of other people.
But can I do that?
I am rebellious but I am not the type you see on TV.

I have been thinking I am a useless daughter, student, or a person. I feel angry, but I don't dare to say in front of them.
I need to say nothing because everything I say will hurt people, I need to be feeling-less so I can continuously be taken for granted by these people around me.
I'm not joking when I say I feel useless, I think of that everyday because that is what people around me have been thinking of me.
I don't dare to say anything, I don't want to say 'I am angry' to them.


Now, does that make me a loser?

The first rejection

I still have a long way to go.
I just need to be a little patient.
So far, only Shell has rejected me.
I still have a few more companies to wait for. Got an e-mail that has got to do with a job that I wanted a few months ago. Maybe it's meant for me?Haha
Nevermind, I will just try and send my resume to them.
Now, I am just going to go for any opportunity that comes my way, whether I succeed or not, that's a different story.
I need to start driving again. Ah..headache!

Ah, what a dull raya it is going to be this year -_-